STAYING OK

by ‧ RELEASE DATE: April 18, 1985

Another primer in the everyday use of transactional analysis--as pioneered by Dr. Eric Berne, as smoothly set forth in the Harrises' 1969 bestseller, I'm OK-You're OK. First, in response to the many misconceptions about the meaning of that catch-phrase, there's an emphatic restatement of what ""I'm OK--You're OK"" really is: ""It is a decision to reject our childhood assumption""--that only the Parent is OK--""and to assert that we are no longer helpless, dependent children."" Then the Harrises review the basic, reasonable theory behind TA: that every person includes a part that is Child, a part that is Parent, and a part that is Adult. (As usual, there's no credit given to the Freudian model from which all this is derived.) Thus, TA is a ""sorting device""--aimed at the ""emancipation of the Adult through a clear identification of 'what part of me is coming on.'"" And the new material here consists of specific applications of the TA framework: parenting; how to handle feelings through ""trackdown""; how to protect the Child inside without resorting to withdrawal and intimidation (""Parent protections""); how to analyze your various wants; how to deal with people whose behavior is heavily Parental (""Parent Shrinkers""); and how to turn off our own internal Parental putdowns (""Parent Stoppers""). Some of this becomes hopelessly jargony once the Harrises start bringing in the rest of their TA vocabulary. (How to turn down a piece of fattening cake? ""We have ten units of energy at our disposal to respond. If we put all ten into a courteous but hearty 'no thank you' we will have produced a whole swarm of bouton molecules in our 'no thank you, I'm keen and lean and like being seen' engram."") Similarly, the Parent/Child/Adult blueprint can seem too simplistic and schematic. But, by self-help standards, do-it-yourself TA remains just about the most sophisticated, theoretically sound alternative--with no magic tricks, supposed short-cuts, or fatuous promises. And Mrs. Harris, the journalist-half of the team, remains an engaging spokesperson--using bright examples and persuasive common-sense details to enliven this solid recap.

Pub Date: April 18, 1985

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Harper & Row

Review Posted Online: N/A

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 1985

Categories: NONFICTION