A RIBBON FOR YOUR HAIR

Policoff, an author and New York University writing professor, offers perceptive reflections on grieving in this masterfully written memoir.

The author recounts a series of personal tragedies: the death of his wife, Kate, in 2012, following a months long battle with lung cancer, and, three years later, the death of their 20-year-old daughter, Anna. Much of the narrative centers on Anna, whom he and Kate adopted in China and brought back to Manhattan in 1995. Anna was diagnosed in 2000 with Niemann-Pick C, a rare genetic disorder that inhibits the body’s ability to remove certain lipids, causing them to accumulate in the spleen and liver, among other tissues. Anna, despite knowing that she likely wouldn’t live past the age of 13, maintained a cheerful spirit, writes Policoff, and won the esteem of seemingly everyone she met. As her condition worsened, and as Kate began showing cancer symptoms, Policoff battled mounting health care costs, uncooperative private school administrations, and feelings of despair and anger. The author, a creative writing instructor at New York University, avoids excessive sentimentality and has taken care to structure the story in a way that makes his memories meaningful to the reader by rendering himself and his loved ones sympathetically but honestly. The greatest strength of the book, though, is its style: The language is precise and, at certain moments, lyrical. It’s reassuring to read a memoir by someone who demonstrates such devotion to language and an eye for the telling detail, as when describing hummingbirds hovering above tiger lilies, “placid deer munching on crab apples,” or the surreal image of a violinist entering the room where Anna has just died, playing one of her favorite songs.

A sharp-eyed, frequently poetic exploration of love, family, and parenting in the shadow of tragedy.