In a would-be romp with a lot of light but mechanical slapstick, a carpenter's apprentice who daydreams about pirates is kidnapped onto a pirate ship where things are not as he expected. The klutzy pirates drink juice, not rum, celebrate with ice cream, and have Tom, the former apprentice, sign a list of goody-goody rules (""Lights out at 7:30"")--which, he's also told, no one follows. When he takes his mentor's tip and snitches some candy after lights-out, he has to walk the plank--but uses it for a springboard and lands in the rigging, not the sea. There's some business with another pirate ship and a treasure on a desert island but none of it builds up to a plot. Then the ship lands, the captain rows away, and for no discernible reason Tom is casually of. feted the job. His reply: ""Are you kidding? I'd rather be a carpenter."" This semispoofy approach to the pirate image isn't new. Kroll's go at it reads smoothly enough but never takes off.