I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE

A medical doctor, and cancer survivor, proposes steps for better living.

While Melemis’ book covers a lot of ground, including depression (clinical and otherwise), panic attacks, job performance and addiction, his principal focus stays the same—tension. He identifies tension as the most powerful and insidious damaging agent in modern life and the bulk of his low-key, accessible book (reading it feels like sitting in the audience at a seminar, giving the impression that Melemis is a rather engaging speaker) is concerned with developing strategies to combat stress. Not surprisingly, his main strategy is to calm down and relax. Melemis is an advocate of an informal and largely self-administered form of cognitive therapy in which participants keep a “thought journal” detailing negative experiences, with the goal of uncluttering the mind’s responses to those experiences. His simple assertion that “[t]here is magic in writing” manages, like the rest of the book, to come off as genuinely thoughtful rather than simplistic. There is throughout the book an air of hard-won certainty that is most noticeable in the later chapters on addiction, recovery and relapse-avoidance. Here, his stance is that of a positive, supportive coach rather than a medical practitioner. For example, while counseling addicts who might be thinking of using again, he sounds like a friend: “Remind yourself of how much better you feel now that you’ve stopped using. Think of how nice it is that you don’t have to lie. Your mind is clearer. You have more energy. Your mood is improving. Do you really want to blow all that?” It’s difficult to imagine a person in the grip of addiction for whom this advice would not be helpful. And Melemis’ underlying point—that perhaps more people are addicted to stressful behavior than are willing to admit it—is well-taken.

A quiet, sane, nonconfrontational call for people to take control of enjoying their lives—an important lesson in this frantic 21st century.