The challenges are ongoing, and Senator is honest in acknowledging the limits of any insights one might glean from her son's...
A wide-ranging memoir and guide to autism in adulthood.
There is undoubtedly disagreement regarding the terminology used in conversations related to autism. “Person-first” language decreases the tendency toward defining people by their disabilities; thus, "autistic people" becomes "people with autism." Others prefer being called simply "autistic," arguing that they are in fact defined by their autism and should embrace it as a part of their personalities. Senator (The Autism Mom's Survival Guide (for Dads, too!), 2010, etc.) uses both terms, noting the importance of keeping everything on the table as a child moves through adolescence into adulthood. There are numerous books about caring for children with autism, but the resources about adulthood autism are not as common. The decisions become difficult in new ways: should the adult live with parents or in a residential support home? How do you address the feeling of abandonment, that you're essentially handing over control of his well-being to strangers, often underpaid and all too frequently willing to do the bare minimum to avoid losing their jobs? Senator doesn't attempt to completely untangle the laws, guidelines, and treatment options, but she uses her own story—the author’s son, Nat, has autism and has recently reached adulthood—to offer qualitative insights about navigating the social service systems. The author writes openly about a diverse variety of experiences—e.g., entrusting guardianship to a sibling in the case of a parent’s death; the common struggles of adulthood as experienced through the lens of autism; finding the best possible option for a place a child can call his own and doing so in a way that empowers him to be successful when he leaves the care of his parents.
The challenges are ongoing, and Senator is honest in acknowledging the limits of any insights one might glean from her son's story. That acknowledgement, however, serves the book in its shared solidarity, of reaching out to always ask questions. As an emotional resource, her book is excellent.Pub Date: April 5, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-5107-0423-7
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Review Posted Online: Feb. 8, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2016
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.
Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.
O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8
Page Count: 384
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019
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