WHEN GENDER IS IN QUESTION

Sherkin blends personal experience with practical advice in this guide to transgender allyship.

When the author’s adult child came out as trans, Sherkin was initially filled with apprehension because she didn’t know very much about transgender identity. However, through her experience with her son, co-author Hagen, she came to learn—and grow—a great deal. This book is her attempt to share what she discovered and demystify the transition process for cisgender readers. “If you respond to difference with judgment, fear, or anger, the energy of that will impact the cultures around you,” writes Sherkin. “Respond with acceptance and respect, and that will be the tone of your impact.” The author starts readers at square one, explaining nuances of sexual identity, gender identity, sexual orientation, and what it means to transition. She also goes into the challenges that transitioners can face in the home, the workplace, and in society at large. Hagen contributes memoiristic sections while psychotherapist co-author Seidl provides psychological perspectives. Short testimonials from other trans people are scattered throughout the text, which serves to illustrate the diversity of experience that exists in the trans community. The prose throughout is straightforward, with a professional, reassuring tone. The authors keep the focus on the fact that transition is a process to be celebrated while acknowledging that initial steps can be confusing both for the trans person and their family. “Regarding my own transition,” writes Hagen, “there is no real clear beginning, and I really don’t see any clear end. I’m not sure if that’s a trans thing as much as it seems to be a human thing. How do you know when you’re done growing?” The thoughts of a loving parent, a candid child, and a passionate psychotherapist combine in these pages to provide a comprehensive picture, answering most of the questions that people who are new to trans concepts might have. The authors are all Canadian, so the resource section at the back of the book may be of limited value to American readers, but the work is otherwise applicable to a wide audience.

A considered and compassionate manual about transgender identity.