An illuminating primer to unearthing and managing one’s damaging stories.
A therapist discusses how to recognize and release oneself from negative self-images in this debut psychology and self-help guide.
St. John Smith, a Vancouver, British Columbia–based therapist, opens this book with her own discovery that she’d led her life with the incorrect belief, formed and reinforced throughout her childhood, that she wasn’t intelligent. She then segues into a discussion of personal “myths”: “every single person has their own set of stories about themselves,” she says. She aims her book at readers “who carry negative and limiting myths…and, as a result, lead lives that aren’t nearly as enriching as they could be.” She outlines how such negative stories lead to patterns of shame, fear, and anxiety and how they reinforce negative coping styles, such as surrendering, avoiding, or overcompensating. She maps out what she deems the 10 most common myths (“I’m not attractive enough,” “I’m not successful enough,” and so on) and shares 27 case studies, loosely based on her own patients’ experiences, to uncover these myths and develop action plans for positive change. She provides worksheets so that readers may do similar awareness and self-development work, and later, she notes that forgiving others for their parts in myth creation may be hard, but it’s a way to regain one’s personal power. She concludes by warning that myths’ impacts never fade away completely, but by using her methods, she says, “we can find ways to manage the thoughts and feelings that arise.” St. John Smith (Willy Earns His Wings, 2015), the author of a previous children’s book, here offers a helpful book for adults looking to become more cognizant of their own developmental influences and take conscious steps to control their own lives. Her case studies, in particular, clarify and reinforce her therapeutic ideas, and her inclusion of her own struggles makes her a relatable and authoritative guide. Although readers may wish that St. John Smith had explored more than 10 myths, she’s still created a valuable springboard that will let readers begin to question and tackle any type of negative personal belief.
An illuminating primer to unearthing and managing one’s damaging stories.Pub Date: Feb. 15, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-5193-1903-6
Page Count: 212
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: July 20, 2016
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
PROFILES
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
A vibrant, encouraging depiction of a sinister disorder.
A British novelist turns to autobiography to report the manifold symptoms and management of his debilitating disease, depression.
Clever author Haig (The Humans, 2013, etc.) writes brief, episodic vignettes, not of a tranquil life but of an existence of unbearable, unsustainable melancholy. Throughout his story, presented in bits frequently less than a page long (e.g., “Things you think during your 1,000th panic attack”), the author considers phases he describes in turn as Falling, Landing, Rising, Living, and, finally, simply Being with spells of depression. Haig lists markers of his unseen disease, including adolescent angst, pain, continual dread, inability to speak, hypochondria, and insomnia. He describes his frequent panic attacks and near-constant anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure. Haig also assesses the efficacy of neuroscience, yoga, St. John’s wort, exercise, pharmaceuticals, silence, talking, walking, running, staying put, and working up the courage to do even the most seemingly mundane of tasks, like visiting the village store. Best for the author were reading, writing, and the frequent dispensing of kindnesses and love. He acknowledges particularly his debt to his then-girlfriend, now-wife. After nearly 15 years, Haig is doing better. He appreciates being alive and savors the miracle of existence. His writing is infectious though sometimes facile—and grammarians may be upset with the writer’s occasional confusion of the nominative and objective cases of personal pronouns. Less tidy and more eclectic than William Styron’s equally brief, iconic Darkness Visible, Haig’s book provides unobjectionable advice that will offer some help and succor to those who experience depression and other related illnesses. For families and friends of the afflicted, Haig’s book, like Styron’s, will provide understanding and support.
A vibrant, encouraging depiction of a sinister disorder.Pub Date: Feb. 23, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-14-312872-4
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Penguin
Review Posted Online: Nov. 3, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2015
SEEN & HEARD
Readers Donate Depression Book After Star Suicide
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