REST EASY

White draws on his nearly three decades of experience in the American funeral industry to give readers an insider’s account.

Decades ago, Jessica Mitford’s The American Way of Death (1963) provided a scathing rebuke of the funeral industry, charging it with rapacious business practices and callous emotional manipulation. White has a very different story to tell. For years, he was the direct contact person for the supply of urns and caskets, where he witnessed behavior that ranged from supremely generous to deeply peculiar. Some of his experiences were “so bizarre that talking about them outside of the funeral biz, people would look at me like I was making these stories up” (commissioning an extra-big coffin for a hefty dead celebrity, and so on). He cites the humanity he has seen, with “funeral heroes” often stepping in to help with everything from payment to eulogy delivery. And the eulogies themselves gain a new dimension in White’s description, not as dreary summaries, but as true celebrations of the life of the deceased. White’s perspective as a funeral associate for so many years has given him insights into what makes a life worth celebrating, and he shares that wisdom here, with common-sense sentiments like “Make amends, but don’t beg”; “Treat others with respect”; “Give freely of yourself.” Readers will appreciate this touch, often delivered with a homespun humor, and they’ll also appreciate White’s repeated observation that their last days will be much more painful for their loved ones than for themselves. “We have the means to help our loved ones through the agony of losing us,” he counsels, in exactly the note of simple compassion that’s so often missing from insider accounts of this profession.

A thoughtful, life-affirming meditation on the business of death.