IT LOOKS ALIVE TO ME!

An over-protected, high IQ kid who hangs around the Museum of Natural History might well have a nightmare like this one which begins with the theft of a moon rock specimen that has somehow brought all the exhibits to life. A Haida medicine man, a resurrected pharaoh, Transparent Woman, even Charles Darwin himself participate in the frantic search for the rock; however their goal is often forgotten as they battle revivified monsters--a mammoth, a giant centipede, a magnified housefly. . . as Burdick (the kid) tries to win a girl named Lola away from the infatuated pharaoh. . . and as the company bickers among themselves (""You pygmies--hey! Listen here! Ah'm not white, ah'm transparent"" or ""I am not a lobby attraction. . . I am a Haida medicine man""). When the egomaniacal Darwin finally destroys the rock (it will mess up evolution) and puts the Museum back to sleep, Burdick leads Lola back home to his bedroom fight past his shocked parents. That feat ought to prove that there was some point to all the goings on, but it's no more convincing than the night in the museum where instead of the logic and texture of fantasy we're asked to settle for the punchy melodrama of a poorly rehearsed camp skit.