A STEGOSAURUS WOULD NOT MAKE A GOOD PIRATE

An armored, lumbering ex-pirate cheerfully goes over the many reasons why he was “just fired.”

Like other failed job seekers in the Dinosaur Daydreams series, Gary Stego is seen—with prodigious lack of sensitivity—to be unsuited in several ways, largely physical, for his chosen occupation. Beginning with the fact that pirate gear and clothing (including, as the cartoon pictures make clear, underwear) don’t come in his size, he tallies his multiple failures. These include a clumsy spiked tail that leaves the sails in shreds, a mistaken notion of what the “poop deck” is, and an arithmetical inability to count looted coins. Moreover, his preference for salads over salt beef openly disgusts the racially mixed lot of children (mostly) that makes up the rest of the piratical crew in Calvert’s cartoon illustrations. Despite a “Pirate Glossary,” Troupe isn’t much for nautical language (Gary: “No matter where I stood, the ship nearly tipped over”), but he does identify the stego’s spiked tail as a thagomizer, and at the end he slips in some additional dino facts to go with a more conventional portrait of one of Gary’s prehistoric ancestors. What’s next for Gary? How about…brain surgeon? “After all, how hard could it be?”

Nothing like a little body shaming to shape young readers’ career expectations.