SOME CUTS NEVER HEAL

Between sweeping, mopping, and other housekeeping chores at James Madison Hospital in Philadelphia, Lenny Moss, custodian extraordinaire, solves homicides. No question, Lenny’s got the sleuthing thing down pat. “I often find,” he says with Holmesian aplomb, “that when the whole truth comes out, ugly or not, it usually leads to the real criminal.” Wow! And you better believe he can walk the walk, too, as he proved in his debut outing (This Won’t Hurt a Bit, not reviewed), when he outclassed a passel of Philadelphia’s finest and kept a wrongly accused co-worker from being railroaded. So, naturally, when hottie drug rep Colleen Creedon is found murdered in Room 709, the call goes out for Lenny. Even homicide detective Joe Williams, recognizing a natural when he sees one, turns to Lenny for collegial consultation. Who in James Madison’s volatile world had it in for the sultry Colleen: relentlessly ambitious Dr. Kadish; sly and foxy Dr. Fox; besotted pharmacist Mike diPietro; or hateful, venal (please, please, let him be the guilty one) chief of security Joe West? In between bouts of detection, Lenny, now wearing his union rep hat, has to cope with a wearying array of sticky labor relations problems. But though he’s beaten with a blunt instrument, left for dead in a hospital fridge, and given ample cause for a maltreatment suit, Lenny cracks his case.

Lenny the custodian/union rep is thoroughly believable. As for Lenny the sleuth: Send for the Hardy Boys.