BALD AS I WANNA BE

Radio performer, sportswriter, and columnist for the Washington Post, Kornheiser (The Baby Chase, 1983) offers his off- the-cuff takes on events (more or less recent, but mostly less) on the boulevards of modern society and in the purlieus of the District of Columbia. His natural targets: the hype attendant on the famous, the habits of the wealthy, and domestic life in general. Along with a couple of nice pieces about his relatives, the collection of columns presents the standard boomer stuff of current syndicated humorists. With some wit he does riffs on cigars and cars, clothes and kids. He doesn't neglect his gender studies or forget the nostalgia typical of guys who fondly remember their lost hair and view their burgeoning wattles with alarm. It's frequently done with hoary gags that end with punch lines like ``We need the eggs!'' and one-liners in a rhythm perfected long ago by Prof. Henny Youngman. (Rim shots—bada-bing, bada-boom—are articulated to maintain the proper pace). The material, to be candid, isn't timeless. There is snappy comment about Hugh Grant and Tonya Harding and allusions to the likes of Joe Isuzu and John Sununu. The author professes comic carnal admiration for a variety of bodacious babes who may once have been semifamous but are now nowhere to be found. A recurrent thematic element is the big-shot airline passenger ``who did caca doody on the plane's food cart because they wouldn't give him another drink.'' Who can lose interest in material like that? It's all good, clean fun, though nothing remarkable. The jests are likable enough and ephemeral as a Post-it note. Pleasant fooling around by a conventional iconoclast.