RUNAWAY HUSBANDS

A comprehensive resource to support women who have been abruptly left by their husbands.

Stark introduces readers to the term “Wife Abandonment Syndrome” (used to describe a situation in which a seemingly loving husband leaves his wife—usually for another woman—and immediately shows signs of anger and aggression) and shares her own experience with the phenomenon. She uses that personal knowledge, as well as information culled from over 400 interviews, to construct a guide to both the “whys” (why are some men compelled to act this way?) and the “hows” (how does one move on with one’s life after such a betrayal?) of WAS. The topics progress in a linear fashion, from the initial abandonment and typical hallmarks of WAS (“systematically devaluing his wife and the marriage, the husband denies what he had previously described as positive aspects of the couple’s joint history”) to possible reasons for such behavior (such as boosting the ego or reacting to a midlife crisis) to healing and rediscovering the joy of one’s own company. The author’s advice and anecdotes are complemented by intriguing statistics, like the fact that 44% of women surveyed were deserted between November and January. Stark’s voice is inherently warm and encouraging as she walks readers through all of the various emotions they might be feeling. She coins useful terminology (relating the eight stages of recovery to nature phenomena, for example) to help illuminate various concepts. While there is one section that feels a bit mean-spirited, in which women describing their exes’ affair partners make remarks like “she’s a crazy lady” and “she’s downright ugly,” the overall tone of the book is overwhelmingly positive and supportive. The author also tackles the effect that WAS can have on kids, including a section on the different types of dads that ex-husbands might become (like a “Windowseat Dad” or a “Disneyland Dad”). The result is a comforting rallying cry for WAS survivors to reclaim their lives and happiness in the wake of a traumatic life change.

An inspirational collection of advice offering practical strategies for coping with spousal abandonment.