The Men's Only Book of Toilet Trivia
by Wally Zubric
A selection of random, often distasteful but sometimes-intriguing scatological factoids.
Zubric, an Australian psychiatric nurse with “a passing interest in erotic art and literature,” proudly writes that his book could be considered “offensive and disgusting,” as it “contains filth and depravity” and “outrages public decency.” This collection of short pieces duly concentrates on the lower functions of both humans and selected animal and vegetable species. In this grab bag, readers will find statistics on the volume and composition of bodily secretions (the longest-distance projectile vomit, for example, was 8.2 meters); their uses in industry and cuisine; and record-holding specimens of reproductive anatomy. The book also includes specs for various sex toys, dolls and machines, and detailed instructions on unorthodox genital stimulation techniques; conjectures on the extraterrestrial origins of the Venus’ flytrap; details of Nazi medical experiments; and scientific observations on lingering consciousness in the brains of guillotine victims. On social and historical fronts, the text spotlights cannibalistic rituals around the world; notorious incidents of bestiality; and a litany of grisly true-crime stories featuring Vlad the Impaler; Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed, a Hungarian countess who bathed in the blood of virgins; and a woman who slaughtered her husband and served his flesh to their kids. The author presents his lore in concise, competent but unimaginative prose, and the information is often casually sourced; he often relates urban legends as established facts, challenging skeptical readers to do their own research. The book seems intended for aimless bathroom browsing, and sometimes, its off-color tidbits draw the reader in, such as the conceivably true story of the astronomer Tycho Brahe’s pet moose getting drunk and falling down the stairs. The book is at its best when the author’s mind wanders from grosser fixations into whimsical serendipity.
A sporadically interesting effluence of information.