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MARRYING UP

Holden, a former writer for the Mail on Sunday, certainly knows her way around snarky royal gossip and delivers here a very...

A cheeky exposé on gold digging (the marital sort) from the British bestselling author of Beautiful People (2009) and Filthy Rich (2008).

A large cast of characters searching for something—money, excitement, love, ancient Roman toilets—all show up at the novel’s glamorous royal wedding finale, but it takes a lot of scheming and luck to get them there. Polly, an archaeology student, is on Lord Shropshire’s estate unearthing Roman artifacts when she meets the dashing Max. A veterinary student spending the summer at Shropshire’s manor (he’s a bit vague on the connection), he and Polly begin an easy summer romance. Meanwhile, Alexa MacDonald (formerly Allison Donald, only child of an embarrassingly working-class couple from the Midlands) is looking for a rich husband. She studied hard and made it to St. Andrews but squandered her time at university attending parties, hunts and weekend soirees—all in search of a marriageable title—but now she is both without a degree or a husband. If only she could have been born into Lady FlorenceTrevorigus-Whyske-Cleethorpe’s high-heeled Manolos. Lady Florrie, a fixture of Socialite magazine, is beautiful, fashionable and innocent as only the superprivileged can be. She has no interest in marriage or money; she just wants some fun, life as an endless banquet. Just as Max and Polly are falling in love, he has been summoned back to Sedona, a principality on the Riviera. Turns out Max is the heir apparent, and his father is insisting he marry. Sedona needs to attract investors, and there is nothing like a royal wedding to court publicity. While Max is fighting his father, Alexa has the help of Barney, an equally dedicated social climber and hanger-on. Alexa, an odious character from the beginning, has to sleep with so many ghastly lords (and one Russian oligarch) that, by the end, even she deserves a little happiness. As for Max, he’s been fixed up with Florrie, but not if Polly can steal him away before the wedding.    

Holden, a former writer for the Mail on Sunday, certainly knows her way around snarky royal gossip and delivers here a very guilty pleasure.

Pub Date: Aug. 1, 2012

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7067-3

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Sourcebooks Landmark

Review Posted Online: July 21, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 2012

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SUMMER ISLAND

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with...

Talk-show queen takes tumble as millions jeer.

Nora Bridges is a wildly popular radio spokesperson for family-first virtues, but her loyal listeners don't know that she walked out on her husband and teenaged daughters years ago and didn't look back. Now that a former lover has sold racy pix of naked Nora and horny himself to a national tabloid, her estranged daughter Ruby, an unsuccessful stand-up comic in Los Angeles, has been approached to pen a tell-all. Greedy for the fat fee she's been promised, Ruby agrees and heads for the San Juan Islands, eager to get reacquainted with the mom she plans to betray. Once in the family homestead, nasty Ruby alternately sulks and glares at her mother, who is temporarily wheelchair-bound as a result of a post-scandal car crash. Uncaring, Ruby begins writing her side of the story when she's not strolling on the beach with former sweetheart Dean Sloan, the son of wealthy socialites who basically ignored him and his gay brother Eric. Eric, now dying of cancer and also in a wheelchair, has returned to the island. This dismal threesome catch up on old times, recalling their childhood idylls on the island. After Ruby's perfect big sister Caroline shows up, there's another round of heartfelt talk. Nora gradually reveals the truth about her unloving husband and her late father's alcoholism, which led her to seek the approval of others at the cost of her own peace of mind. And so on. Ruby is aghast to discover that she doesn't know everything after all, but Dean offers her subdued comfort. Happy endings await almost everyone—except for readers of this nobly preachy snifflefest.

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with syrupy platitudes about life and love.

Pub Date: March 1, 2001

ISBN: 0-609-60737-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2001

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LAST ORDERS

Britisher Swift's sixth novel (Ever After, 1992 etc.) and fourth to appear here is a slow-to-start but then captivating tale of English working-class families in the four decades following WW II. When Jack Dodds dies suddenly of cancer after years of running a butcher shop in London, he leaves a strange request—namely, that his ashes be scattered off Margate pier into the sea. And who could better be suited to fulfill this wish than his three oldest drinking buddies—insurance man Ray, vegetable seller Lenny, and undertaker Vic, all of whom, like Jack himself, fought also as soldiers or sailors in the long-ago world war. Swift's narrative start, with its potential for the melodramatic, is developed instead with an economy, heart, and eye that release (through the characters' own voices, one after another) the story's humanity and depth instead of its schmaltz. The jokes may be weak and self- conscious when the three old friends meet at their local pub in the company of the urn holding Jack's ashes; but once the group gets on the road, in an expensive car driven by Jack's adoptive son, Vince, the story starts gradually to move forward, cohere, and deepen. The reader learns in time why it is that no wife comes along, why three marriages out of three broke apart, and why Vince always hated his stepfather Jack and still does—or so he thinks. There will be stories of innocent youth, suffering wives, early loves, lost daughters, secret affairs, and old antagonisms—including a fistfight over the dead on an English hilltop, and a strewing of Jack's ashes into roiling seawaves that will draw up feelings perhaps unexpectedly strong. Without affectation, Swift listens closely to the lives that are his subject and creates a songbook of voices part lyric, part epic, part working-class social realism—with, in all, the ring to it of the honest, human, and true.

Pub Date: April 5, 1996

ISBN: 0-679-41224-7

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 1996

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