UNSPOKEN SIGNALS

Boster presents a parenting guide about how children learn to behave.

The author, a speaker and communication coach, blends personal history, client stories, and developmental psychology to explore how “unspoken signals” of tone, posture, and presence can shape emotional security. These signals come from the parent and are directed to the child, and vice versa. Many parents, says Boster, are likely to repeat the same parenting style that their own parents had, unless they learn how to change. Organized across developmental stages, each chapter pairs narrative with reflection prompts. Grounded in self-determination theory, the author’s philosophy centers three needs—connection, autonomy, and competency—arguing that these needs fuel resilience. Boster narrates relatable stories from her childhood and her foray into parenthood. She uses examples that feature her own child’s experiences but also highlights her clients’ issues: for example, a mother whose toddler has connection issues from having too much screen time. Her overview of parenting styles is clear, especially in showing how swings between authoritarian and permissive approaches reflect inherited patterns. Stronger sections examine everyday moments, play, boredom, and screen use as a “hidden curriculum” shaping development. The book’s insights on emotional modeling and adolescence are practical and grounded, while sections about emotional development emphasize the “Platinum Rule”: Treat others how they want to be treated. (The Platinum Rule was introduced by Dr. Tony Alessandra in the 1990s as a way to expand empathy beyond the self.) This approach is a major break from past models of parenting. Ultimately the author argues that for a child to be resilient and emotionally secure, the parents must model this kind of behavior during everyday moments. Boster oscillates back and forth from jargon-heavy terms to relatable anecdotes that will allow readers to process and understand the message of her book.

A compassionate, accessible guide for behavior-focused parents that offers easy-to-implement solutions to succeed in parenting.