BOYSLUT

The sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health explores his erotic identity in a series of spicy biographical vignettes.

Though Zane was raised in a liberal, queer-affirming household, he “still struggled with being bisexual, polyamorous, and horny all the time.” He reveals a consistent struggle with OCD and extensively discusses his burgeoning same-sex desires while at Vassar, boosted by the “powdered courage” of cocaine. The author succeeds at candidly detailing and measuring the value of his sexual exploits. These episodes interplay nicely with perspectives on pornography, rejection theories, the pros and cons of gay hookup apps, and the unabashed promotion of intensive psychotherapy for readers to “delve deep, tackling the root of your shame and insecurities.” For neophytes, Zane provides an enlightening glossary of common and lesser-known sexual terminology—e.g., fraysexual, someone who “experiences sexual attraction toward those they are not deeply connected with and loses attraction as they get to know an individual.” He also vividly describes a polyamorous relationship involving his then-boyfriend, the boyfriend’s wife, and her girlfriend. In his time writing a sex advice column, Zane came to believe that most men “do not have a healthy relationship with sex at all” and are “continuously failing to navigate their sexuality, masculinity, and romantic relationships.” These pointed perspectives stem from stories shared with him as well as his own vast carnal experiences as a liberated, “sexually shameless” man boasting over 2,000 sexual encounters. Zane seeks to dispel preconceived notions about bisexuality and alleviate the pervasiveness of sex-negative shame and stigma, but the author's more serious notes on sexual liberation sometimes get lost amid chapters detailing his rampant promiscuity. The book works best when enjoyed as a chronicle of Zane’s unapologetically salacious history and the lessons he’s learned. His emphatic discourses on erotic liberation, the misunderstood bisexual community, and overcoming sexual shame are credible and noteworthy, but they are often overshadowed.

A provocative, uneven confessional from a self-avowed “slutty antihero.”