Tom Cutler, author of humorous titles like the bestselling 211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do, offers a variety of man-friendly information in his new book, The Gentleman’s Bedside Companion. Cutler covers subjects ranging from relationships to abnormal science, doctor lingo to old-fashioned activities. You may wonder how he’s gathered such an eclectic mix of facts and stories. Well, Cutler has been a toy-store manager, wine waiter, radio broadcaster and magician, and his father was both a sex therapist and an on-again, off-again Dominican Friar. Here, he combines informative writing and wit to provide men with a never-disappointing supply of curious knowledge, perfect for just-before-bedtime consumption, or a Father's Day gift.
Like pithy views on modern life? Check out workplace dispatches from the blog Please Fire Me.
1. You can open champagne with a sword, a technique the French call le sabrage.
2. Never buy flowers from a gas station.
3. How to insult someone in French: bouge de la gros porc! (Piss-off, fatty!)
4. A pickup line in Portuguese: Gostaria de ver as minhas gravuras? (Would you care to view my etchings?)
5. An interesting suggestion from the Bible: enforced nudity as punishment. Nathum 3:5-6: “Behold, I am against thee, saith the Lord of hosts; and I will discover thy skirts upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame.”
6. Literature can be funny. Some best ever book titles include: Shag the Pony (for children), Moles and Their Meaning, Scouts in Bondage and Play with Your Own Marbles.
7. Some insider information on bad smells: research on creating terrible odors is funded largely by the military as part of their “nonlethal weapons development” program. One concoction is U.S. Government Standard Bathroom Malodor, an especially nasty substance with a strongly fecal smell and possessing an undertone of rotting rodent.
8. Always lift your legs when a lady is vacuuming around you. Good manners cost nothing.
9. You don’t really grow a mustache – a mustache grows you. Some particularly dashing mustache styles include the Chevron, the Pencil and the Zapata (diagrams included in the book).
10. Proper sock etiquette: Dark in town. Always short. No “proper man” wears socks above the mid-calf region.
(Ed note: All quotes from advance galley. Finished copy may be slightly different.)