According to many news outlets, including the Vancouver Sun, teen heartthrob Justin Bieber is under investigation for an alleged assault at a British Columbia laser-tag facility. It puts his brand-new memoir, Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, in a context HarperCollins, his publisher, would probably like to avoid.

“My music and lyrics give a glimpse of what’s in my heart, but I think this book is a window into my world,” Bieber says on the inside jacket. “In here are hundreds of pictures of me that no one’s ever seen before…this is my gift to you, the fans who’ve supported and been with me on this amazing journey every step of the way.”

If you haven’t picked up a copy yet, we've culled a few choice quotes for your delectation.

The Top 10 Justin Bieber-isms:

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1.       “Every one of you is ‘My Favorite Girl’ for a different reason, because each of you is special in your own way.”

2.       “([S]ingers aren’t supposed to have dairy before a show, but we all know I’m a rule breaker. Pizza is just so good!”)

3.       “The success I’ve achieved comes to me from God, through the people who love and support me, and I include my fans in that. Every single one of you lifts me a little bit higher.”

4.       “I hate being on a date where both people are working too hard to come up with stuff to say. You know it’s working when you can just chill—listen to music, watch a movie or whatever—without feeling like you have to force the conversation.”

5.       “I kept playing and getting better over the next couple of years. It got to be 2000, 2001, and you know what that means. Beyoncé.”

6.       “I was Metallica and Matchbox 20 in my room at night, but at school by day I was just me. Nobody at school knew anything about this part of my life.”

7.       “On stage, we don’t want any surprises. We want everything to play out perfect, just the way we planned. In life, you get the full reveal. It’s all a surprise. And that makes it a lot more interesting, even though some of the surprises suck.”

8.       On meeting Usher in a parking lot in Atlanta: “Hey, Usher! Hey, man! Oh, man, I love you. Can I sing for you?” Usher: “Nah, little buddy, it’s cold out here…Let’s just go inside.”

9.       On meeting Justin Timberlake: “We met up with Justin Timberlake at his place in Memphis…I sang ‘Cry Me a River’ for him. ‘It takes a lot of balls to sing me my own song,’ he said.”

10.   “I really like…Girls…Girls…Girls…Girls…Girls…Girls…Girls.”