Some people rely on their mothers for advice. Personally, I rely on Ellen DeGeneres (sorry, Mom). In her new book, Seriously…I’m Kidding, the comedian and talk show host extraordinaire laces personal anecdotes with indispensable tips on how to make the most out of life.

Get more celebrity advice from Jane Lynch's Happy Accidents.

Here are 10 pieces of advice to take from Ellen, which don’t involve washing behind the ears or looking both ways before crossing the street:

1. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

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2. Sometimes waiting can be really good for you. As an example, it’s always a good idea to wait at least a half hour after you’ve eaten before you go swimming.

3. No one likes to be around Negative Nellies. Try and spend more time with Positive Peters and Happy Helens. And Beyoncé.

4.  Do you live each day as if it’s your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.

5. [W]hat you cannot do under any circumstances—and I found this out the hard way—is eat almonds at a blackjack table.

6. However you choose to live your life, just try to enjoy it as much as you can. Fill yourself with joy. (Not the dishwashing liquid).

7.  Be happy. Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal systems.

8. Everyone is running around trying to keep up with the Jonses. Who are the Joneses anyway? Why are we trying to keep up with them?...It’s hard enough to keep up with the Kardashians.

9. [I]f we try harder, we can do some pretty spectacular things. I know sometimes it seems like a world that has a blanket with sleeves can’t get any better, but it can.

10. You know that old saying: “You’re never too old to play. You’re only too old for low-rise jeans.”

Ellen DeGeneres’ book, Seriously…I’m Kidding, is out this week.