Have you ever had one of those days when your cubicle is closing in on you? Or you’ve just had to tell your boss—who runs a multimillion dollar operation—what product his company sells? Then Please Fire Me might be for you.
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Adam Chromy and Jill Morris, the creators of PleaseFireMe.com, offer a blasting board for the unhappily employed and weave quirky Venn diagrams and factoids into their manifesto for life in the modern American workplace. Kirkus said of the book: “Even the most despondent of workers won’t be able to help cracking a smile at this collection of hilarious tales from the labor front.”
Here are 10 reasons why your job is not as bad as you think it is:
“My wife went into an unexpected early birth of my first child. When I asked my manager if I could leave work to be with my wife at the hospital he replied, ‘Well that’s just poor planning on your part. What’s more important, your career or your family?’ ”
“I just caught my old boss copying down my goals from last year’s review and noting them as his own for this year.”
“My boss pooped her pants and asked to borrow my sweater to sit on so she wouldn’t ruin her expensive chair. I wish I could say I was kidding. I let her keep the sweater.”
“The only skill I need for my job is knowledge of the alphabet.”
“Last week a co-worker asked me, ‘What day is Black History Month?’ ”
“My co-worker takes pictures of me in what he considers sexy poses. Me working, stretching, standing.”
“Every day my co-worker goes for lunchtime walks. He gets extremely sweaty, comes back, and hangs his sweaty T-shirt and socks over our filing cabinet and drawers. After they dry, he wears them again.”
“My boss whistles ‘Mr. Bojangles’ at the urinal.”
“I work in a restaurant. One day, I meet this nice old lady who gives me a hug. Then she says, ‘Oops, I probably shouldn't be doing that; I have TB.’ ”
“You sent out a memo prohibiting excessive drinking at the company party. Seriously...the only ray of light this job provided has been put out.”
Ed note: All content quoted from uncorrected proof; finished book may slightly differ.