Are you that person? The one who hasn’t seen a single episode of Mad Men?

Now you too can be enlightened thanks to silver fox Roger Sterling’s new book, Sterling’s Gold. Faux memoir it ain’t, but it does round up Roger’s most memorable sayings. These quotes might not catch you up on the Joan/Roger drama, but drop them into casual conversation, and you’ll look like you’ve been watching Mad Men since before Miss Blankenship went belly up at her desk.

1. “I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean, I guess.”

2. “I don’t know if you were drunk or not drunk, but that was inspired.”

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3. “See her this weekend. You hit it off? Come turkey day, maybe you can stuff her.”

4. “Remember, when God closes a door, he opens a dress.”

5. “This guy killed a man with a motorboat. You know what gets you over something like that? Drinking.”

6. “Oysters Rockefeller, Beef Wellington, Napoleons. We leave this lunch alone and it’ll take over Europe.”

7. “If you put a penny in a jar every time you make love in the first year of marriage and then you take a penny out of the jar every time you make love in the second year, you know what you have? A jar full of pennies.”

8. “I always liked chocolate ice cream, but my mother made us eat vanilla because it didn’t stain anything.”

9. “I love how they sit there like a couple of choir boys but you know one of them’s leaving New York with VD.”

 

Pub info:

Sterling’s Gold: Wit & Wisdom of an Ad Man

Roger Sterling

Grove Press / November / 9780802119896 / $16.95