The Bureau Chiefs took Twitterdom by storm with their witty and often downright hilarious tweets from @FakeAPStylebook. Their book, Write More Good, a tongue-in-cheek guide for journalists, newshounds and those who have canceled their subscriptions to the daily ad sheets, includes highlights from their online feed in addition to a wealth of new material.
Covering everything from beat reporting, grammar suggestions and concise explanations of media law, the bureau chiefs—a conglomerate made up of reporters, a librarian, an attorney, an English professor and an artist—include their trademark glossary of terms at the end of each chapter. Here, 20 of the definitions that have won the folks behind @FakeAPStylebook more than 200,000 followers already.
bipartisanship: Any demonstration of cooperation between the two major politic—Ha, no, we can’t say that with a straight face.
blogsphere: Proof that an infinite number of monkeys in front of an infinite number of computers will eventually type up spoilers for next week's episode of Doctor Who.
Bull Moose Party: Short-lived party that supported Teddy Roosevelt’s 1912 presidential campaign. So named because Roosevelt won the party’s nomination by killing a bull moose with his bare hands. The party soon died out when no other aspiring candidate could fulfill the nomination requirement.
bylines: Currency newspapers use to pay reporters.
Chief of Staff: Nickname your mom gave us last night.
cut: When a certain copy editor named Tim arbitrarily removes sentences from your well-written story to make the copy fit in the column because he is a douche.
dicta: Legal term used by judges in opinions for the sole purpose of giggling behind chamber doors.
electoral votes: We don’t really understand how these work either.
filibuster: The political equivalent of taking the ball and going home if you don’t get your way. Even though the ball actually belongs to another kid and he has more friends than you, you still get your way because your friends keep calling the popular kid a socialist.
intern: Reason your newspaper doesn’t cost twenty-five cents more.
Lincoln, Abraham: Sixteenth president of the United States. Issued the Emancipation Proclamation abolishing slavery. Ended the secession of the Confederate States of America during the Civil War. Assassinated in 1865. Dude was hardcore.
minority-majority district: A political district where racial or ethnic minorities make up a majority of the voting public. Rare and difficult to find, much like the majestic unicorn.
Ombudsman: Superhero mascot of American Jah Buddha, a faith-based, pro-marijuana political action group.
quote: What someone says. Or, you know, the general gist of it.
revision: Yet another well-written story butchered by a certain copy editor named Tim who might find a rattlesnake in his Jetta tonight.
syntax: An extremely uncomfortable pair of pants.
talking points: see factoids.
umlaut: Punctuation reserved for the exclusive use of metal bands.
Wire report: Did you see that shit with Stringer Bell and Omar? That was intense.