Amusing bluster about stars and movie themes by wiseacre Queenan (Imperial Caddy, 1992), a regular contributor to Rolling Stone, Movieline, etc. States Queenan: ``As readers familiar with my work know, I make my living by watching unspeakably foul, hopelessly incomprehensible movies, and then issuing belated, useless warnings to the viewing public, telling them not to go to movies they have already gone to see...I really don't have anything better to do with my time than to sit at home wasting a whole day watching Once Upon a Time in America (227 m.) and Heaven's Gate (219 m.).'' Not everyone will agree with Queenan's dismissal of the bulk of Woody Allen's work in favor of a handful of his comedies, or his twitting of Meryl Streep as a ``monotonously talented humanoid.'' Sometimes he strikes a semi-serious note, as in his piece on Martin Scorcese (``The Lonely Raging Bull''), a director who makes movies about movies but is nonetheless brutal and disturbing, ``never stupid, condescending, or trendy....'' Perhaps Queenan's most wicked piece- -again at Woody Allen's expense—is his Home Nymphet Video Collection of movies Allen should have seen rather than studying Bergman's The Seventh Seal so assiduously, all of them about the corruption of childwomen by much older men: Lolita, Baby Doll, Pretty Baby, Georgy Girl, etc., flicks in which the man invariably gets his comeuppance, or worse.
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