When their realm is invaded by a tyrant determined to exterminate all magic, apprentice spellcasters/orphans Dirklus and Annah are caught between opposing armies of pirates, dwarves, knights, comically greedy merchants, big-hearted prostitutes and their conflicted feelings for each other.
Fans of Piers Anthony’s Xanth novels and Terry Pratchett’s comical fantasies are the ideal readership for this fractured-fairytale romp. In revenge for a witch’s humiliating hex that punished his sexual depredations, wicked King Archon obsessively crusades to destroy all magic-wielders. Young Dirklus and Annah are sent to safety on a spell-shrouded peninsula, where they grow up apprenticed to a haughty, detached wizard, seemingly more annoyed than anything else at the posturing mortals around him, especially a colony of über-capitalist merchants renown for their sweet onions (which, when hurled, can serve as stun weapons) and their beautiful daughters groomed to be the most pleasantly accommodating of prostitutes. When Archonians rather ineffectually invade the peninsula, they primarily succeed in carrying off the colony’s prized whore, Nooki, who happens to be Dirklus’ sweetheart. Dirklus goes on a careening rescue-quest, despite his barely controllable sorceries and tomboy Annah’s jealous insistence that she, not Nooki, is the right girl for him, never mind the gossip that the two apprentices are blood relatives. The abundant sexual repartee is charmingly bawdy in nonexplicit, old-school fashion, and Beach does well evoking the magical action in brief, slapstick-y brush-strokes, though rarely inspiring actual awe, just satisfied smirks (even if a horde of treelike giants are a shameless steal from J.R.R. Tolkien’s “ents”). While some of the punning-ly named characters could have used a bit more depth, they prove to be capable of surprising. Granted that a “to be continued…” shingle hangs at the end of the tale, Beach’s work avoids any cliffhanger endings to function neatly as a standalone. Even so, fantasy-genre readers with a penchant for sly stuff that never takes itself too seriously—and remains coyly naughty around the margins—won’t mind a return to Beach’s shores. Cheeky, tongue-in-cheek mock fantasy not without flaws, but captivates nonetheless.
Pub Date: Dec. 28, 2008
ISBN: 978-1440111877
Page Count: 315
Publisher: iUniverse
Review Posted Online: Oct. 3, 2011
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Entertaining and thoroughly engrossing.
Another reboot of Jane Austen?!? Hadlow pulls it off in a smart, heartfelt novel devoted to bookish Mary, middle of the five sisters in Pride and Prejudice.
Part 1 recaps Pride and Prejudice through Mary’s eyes, climaxing with the humiliating moment when she sings poorly at a party and older sister Elizabeth goads their father to cut her off in front of everyone. The sisters’ friend Charlotte, who marries the unctuous Mr. Collins after Elizabeth rejects him, emerges as a pivotal character; her conversations with Mary are even tougher-minded here than those with Elizabeth depicted by Austen. In Part 2, two years later, Mary observes on a visit that Charlotte is deferential but remote with her husband; she forms an intellectual friendship with the neglected and surprisingly nice Mr. Collins that leads to Charlotte’s asking Mary to leave. In Part 3, Mary finds refuge in London with her kindly aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Mrs. Gardiner is the second motherly woman, after Longbourn housekeeper Mrs. Hill, to try to undo the psychic damage wrought by Mary’s actual mother, shallow, status-obsessed Mrs. Bennet, by building up her confidence and buying her some nice clothes (funded by guilt-ridden Lizzy). Sure enough, two suitors appear: Tom Hayward, a poetry-loving lawyer who relishes Mary’s intellect but urges her to also express her feelings; and William Ryder, charming but feckless inheritor of a large fortune, whom naturally Mrs. Bennet loudly favors. It takes some maneuvering to orchestrate the estrangement of Mary and Tom, so clearly right for each other, but debut novelist Hadlow manages it with aplomb in a bravura passage describing a walking tour of the Lake District rife with seething complications furthered by odious Caroline Bingley. Her comeuppance at Mary’s hands marks the welcome final step in our heroine’s transformation from a self-doubting wallflower to a vibrant, self-assured woman who deserves her happy ending. Hadlow traces that progression with sensitivity, emotional clarity, and a quiet edge of social criticism Austen would have relished.
Entertaining and thoroughly engrossing.Pub Date: March 31, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-250-12941-3
Page Count: 448
Publisher: Henry Holt
Review Posted Online: Dec. 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Hannah, after eight paperbacks, abandons her successful time-travelers for a hardcover life of kitchen-sink romance. Everyone must have got the Olympic Peninsula memo for this spring because, as of this reading, authors Hannah, Nora Roberts, and JoAnn Ross have all placed their newest romances in or near the Quinault rain forest. Here, 40ish Annie Colwater, returns to Washington State after her husband, high-powered Los Angeles lawyer Blake, tells her he’s found another (younger) woman and wants a divorce. Although a Stanford graduate, Annie has known only a life of perfect wifedom: matching Blake’s ties to his suits and cooking meals from Gourmet magazine. What is she to do with her shattered life? Well, she returns to dad’s house in the small town of Mystic, cuts off all her hair (for a different look), and goes to work as a nanny for lawman Nick Delacroix, whose wife has committed suicide, whose young daughter Izzy refuses to speak, and who himself has descended into despair and alcoholism. Annie spruces up Nick’s home on Mystic Lake and sends “Izzy-bear” back into speech mode. And, after Nick begins attending AA meetings, she and he become lovers. Still, when Annie learns that she’s pregnant not with Nick’s but with Blake’s child, she heads back to her empty life in the Malibu Colony. The baby arrives prematurely, and mean-spirited Blake doesn’t even stick around to support his wife. At this point, it’s perfectly clear to Annie—and the reader—that she’s justified in taking her newborn daughter and driving back north. Hannah’s characters indulge in so many stages of the weeps, from glassy eyes to flat-out sobs, that tear ducts are almost bound to stay dry. (First printing of 100,000; first serial to Good Housekeeping; Literary Guild/Doubleday book club selections)
Pub Date: March 31, 1999
ISBN: 0-609-60249-7
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 1999
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