Relationship expert, on-air personality and Huffington Post and Oprah.com regular Syrtash (He’s Just Not Your Type, 2010, etc.) dishes out wisdom to keep marriage alive for the long haul.
The author’s guide will resonate loudest with women who are currently attempting to balance marriage with their careers and children. Citing a study by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, she describes how the brain’s chemical reactions during the first months of romantic love are similar in composition to the chemistry that leads to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Indeed, “the brain chemistry of addiction is also often displayed in the brains of people falling in love.” But that initial rush of dopamine doesn’t last, and then it’s time to get down to the work of maintaining a relationship. First, women are encouraged to put themselves front and center—it’s not only OK, the author writes, but necessary. Syrtash suggests a checklist of things to do for oneself each day. Infidelity may be tempting, she writes, but there are ways it can be avoided. Instead of acting on impulses, readers are urged to remove themselves from the situation and channel the dopamine rush of flirtation back into their marriage. Other strategies for spicing up a partnership including courting and kissing—also known as the Girlfriend Experience—as well as loving one’s body through a series of exercises that encourage vulva exploration. Familiarity may breed comfort, but it can also become dull. To counteract this effect, the author advises women to continue acting as if they are dating even though they are married. That means keeping the bathroom door closed to help maintain the initial air of mystery, ladies. Time-tested advice to help rewire the brain for excitement.
Pub Date: Sept. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-60961-109-5
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Rodale
Review Posted Online: Aug. 20, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2011
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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