NASHVILLE

Silly tale of a girl and her guitar from megaselling Booth (American Icon, 1999, etc.).

Savanna Carson Stone took to heart her momma’s advice to follow your dreams, ’specially since LeAnne Stone died tragically without ever becoming a famous country music singer. LeAnne came from a family of Tennessee ridge-runners, just plain folks from the hills and hollers, but kind and true, you know? She married up, bein’ real beautiful and all, though she never really loved her cold-as-ice husband, a surgeon from a distinguished southern family. Savanna done good, too, for a hillbilly’s daughter, what with gettin’ into Columbia University up in the big bad ol’ city of New York and she turned out every bit as pretty as her momma. She can even quote Nietzsche in a pinch, but what she really wants to do is be a country music singer. She’s been pouring her heart into writing heartbreaking lyrics and practicing up a storm; it’s high time she took her mother’s old Gibson guitar and headed for Nashville. Dr. Stone is appalled, but Savanna is determined. Oh, looky there, up on that stage—it’s Dwight Deacon, country music god! If she could only get him to listen to her original composition, “Roots and Wings.” He does … and he steals it. But ever since producer Aron Wallis decided to make Savanna a star, she’s got someone in her corner now. (Could be Jesus, could be a high-priced lawyer.) Dwight is just going to have to acknowledge her talent, when he gets done looking down her splendiferous cleavage. He can’t be in love with her just like that, now can he? Dog my cats, he is. Aron is going to be mighty put out when Dwight proposes to Savanna on national tee-vee. Dwight’s deranged fan is going to be even more put out. And when the fan whips out a big gun to settle the score, all hell breaks loose across America.

Corn pone.