Jo’s memoir traces the surprising turns in her life following the death of her infant son.

“To depict that we had the perfect American family,” writes the author, “would be nothing short of a lie.” Things certainly seemed perfect in the delivery room as she gave birth to Case, her second child, alongside her loving husband, Ryan. The reality, however, was full of destabilizing elements, including Ryan’s struggle with addiction and baby Case’s heart-wrenching diagnosis of spinal muscular atrophy. After a months-long shuffle between doctors and intensive care units, which Jo describes as “a desperate attempt to change an inevitable future,” Case died. The author struggled with grief, her husband’s issues, bills, and raising her young daughter, Adella, but the family rebounded, adopting a baby boy and moving to California. Sadly, Ryan’s substance abuse resulted in behaviors ranging from terrifying to simply isolating. Jo writes with cleareyed honesty about how loneliness and fear pushed her into destructive behaviors with alcohol and an affair with an old friend named Dominic. Recounting her subsequent remarriage and her own recovery, Jo limns a vertiginous roller-coaster ride of family drama. Her sharp prose efficiently moves readers through a range of emotions with each trying event. “It’s a beautiful thing not having to spend every waking moment worrying it might be your son’s last,” she writes after Case’s passing before puncturing her deep, frank reflections with a visceral realization: “How did my boy become such a small amount of ash?” Such gut-wrenching passages are smartly balanced with great humor and borderline wacky anecdotes of addiction and love triangles—she pulls them off without ever being glib (serious repercussions are never ignored). From funeral home meetings to drunken police encounters, Jo remains likable, sympathetic, and, most importantly, honest. Readers will happily follow her emotionally grounded voice through the wide array of family tales she has to offer.

A raw, candid family saga in which loss, addiction, and love collide.