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Garret Ford

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Garret Ford was born in Canada and completed his education at the University of Lethbridge. He has worked in variety of jobs: air traffic controller, psychoanalyst, pizza delivery man, liquor salesman, camera expert, and newspaper editor. He enjoys going to the gym, reading, music, and nature. Garret Ford does not interact with fans on any social media platforms [Fakebuck, Snapcat, Instargarou, totek, etc.] if you believe you are corresponding with him through one of these platforms, you are not.

Garret Ford does not write fiction merely for fun.

AUTOZLAV Cover
SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY

AUTOZLAV

BY Garret Ford • POSTED ON Aug. 27, 2020

On an anarchic, ruined Earth, biologically mutated young men pilot hulking, armored exoskeletons and fight global and extraterrestrial enemies.

In the devastated future conjured by Ford in this SF/fantasy novel, a “coda,” or apocalypse, happened on Earth on April 1, 2096, a collision of a nuclear world war, a polar shift, mutant uprisings, robot revolts, a mass extinction, a cosmic cataclysm, and the sudden appearance of “exids,” inscrutable aliens. The exids besiege the planet’s wretched survivors in ships, using weapons programmed to simply evaporate rather than get captured. With a Communist Party–style apparatus called Möbius in control, often remotely from the safety of space, humanity’s main defense against this array of enemies is “iron gods,” giant cybernetic battle armor suits (in fact, some degraded “cargo cult” survivor settlements worship the fighting machines as deities). Now, a formerly teeming military base holds a skeleton crew of ace pilots of these cybernetic giants—predominantly hypersexualized teenage girls, specialists in the advanced iron god called the “Matryoshka.” But the base has a quantity of an earlier model, the “autozlav,” whose neural linkages invariably killed those who tried to pilot them. Thus, Matryoshka combat specialists Kumi, Contessa, Iris, and Joy are either sent on military sorties or tasked with capturing young men among the ruins. The male captives—considered expendable because they can’t give birth to new generations of soldiers—go through sadistic boot-camp rituals and sexual humiliations, destined to become lab rats in mad science experiments that either end in fatal fusion with an autozlav or genetic transformation into a fertile woman. Or worse.

From the start, with a salute to the Strugatsky brothers’ Roadside Picnic (1972), readers should note this is a dizzying mashup of Russian-Japanese SF/fantasy tropes, especially those seemingly endless Nippon anime cartoon sagas (Gundam Wing is perhaps the best-known title). Those sagas contrived to place nubile high school students in the cockpits of titanic mecha, human-shaped war droids that were somehow more than machines yet less than artificial intelligence fighters. But Ford turns up the knob—practically breaks it off—to upload a heady borscht of fairy tale/folklore storytelling, cybershock, mad science, and kinky future sex (readers who aren’t acquainted with Japanese hentai genre pornography, be warned). He gives the dazed audience a hellish future whose timeline and geography are laid out succinctly in chapter subheads throughout (sure enough, energy-greedy humans meddling with the environment are at the root of the evil here). Characterizations are broad but well drawn—though the author has had generations of big-eyed, big-breasted comics girls to mine for inspiration—and, to echo the praise of trash-culture critic Joe Bob Briggs, anybody can die at any time. Best of all, Ford proves to be just as adept at scripting kinetic action scenes as writing perverted bedroom prose (it just takes a while to get there). Is this SF literature for all tastes? No, but if one has ever cast an appraising eye at both a Battle Angel Alita figurine and an H.R. Giger “biomechanical” painting of demonically seductive females morphing with the help of technology, it’s an amazing ride.

Slavic folklore, Soviet SF, and Japanese fantasy kitsch mutate amazingly well into a surreal extravaganza.

Pub Date: Aug. 27, 2020

ISBN: 979-8-67-973910-9

Page count: 283pp

Publisher: Self

Review Posted Online: Nov. 11, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2020

Awards, Press & Interests

Favorite author

H. P. Lovecraft

Favorite book

Roadside Picnic

Favorite line from a book

“We're more of the love, blood, and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can't give you love and rhet

Hometown

Middle of Nowhere, Canada

Passion in life

Writing books

ADDITIONAL WORKS AVAILABLE

9413: Fangs of Frore

With the last breath of autumn, a blizzard rises, and the circle is closed. Trapped at the Iron Skirt Inn, Friar Loric awaits his comrades, however, something is amiss. The first snows are stained carnage red, and there will be more gore. Stalking death haunts the winter woods, ancient horrors awaken, hungry for the blood of man. Loric wades knee deep in dead as gnawing cold and ultraviolence consume the mining village of Fehrberg. A wintry tale of looming dread, monsters and men, and unbidden dead.
Published: March 25, 2020
ISBN: 979-8610036519

9413: Graymalkin

Madness and death cast their shadow over the city of Ignox. A rebel faction takes revenge on an old foe. The cold cobblestone streets run hot with blood as the serial killer, the Dread Prowler, returns to slaughter nobles and prostitutes alike. Zarr, the vagabond, once cursed with the form of a cat, is finally human again, but finds himself a stranger to his family. The golden days of sun are quickly spent, Zarr is entangled in a web of intrigue as the six noble houses vie for control and peace for Gwynos, himself a mere pawn in the Great Game. Torture, insanity, and infidelity swell in this salacious journey of sex and death.
Published: Nov. 10, 2019
ISBN: 978-1703177848

9413: Harken the Hellhound

War and betrayal have destroyed the capital and the emperor is dead. The desperate survivors flee the living hell as the wildfire of war runs rampant. Harken, a Varangian warrior, one of the emperor's personal bodyguards, flees from his failures with a great heap of treasure pilfered from the imperial vaults and seeks solace from the pain in his heart and the torment in his mind. By his mighty zweihander, Harken carves a bloody path north, but to what end, he alone knows. The casting of bones rumbles with each life he takes, with chaos dancing in his wake. Comrades gather, tensions rise, and the fellowship threatens to break from the strain of paranoia and greed. Monsters and men clash in this bloody journey fraught with hunger and misery.
Published: April 28, 2019
ISBN: 978-1797595665

9413: The Iron Contract

Kidnapped, chained, sold, enrolled. Mnisa only ran away to teach her parents a lesson, now she is trapped in Scholomance, a secret school of dark magick. Her peers call her a liar, her teachers are all monsters, and everyone is afraid of the headmaster. At least the grading system is simple: pass or die! Her head is in the books, but boys are giving her the looks; the last thing she needs is a love triangle. She could lose her head, literally. Will Mnisa find herself, or an early grave? Explore this coming of age romp filled with macabre mystery and weird whimsy.
Published: Dec. 3, 2020
ISBN: 979-8699418305

9413: Witch Killer Kaia

Horror and atrocity reign over the land of Gwynos, the kingdom is torn asunder by civil war between the noble houses, and evil witches sup upon the bloodshed and misery from the shadows. Kaia, an inquisitor, returns home and must face her past, making new friends and vanquishing old foes along the way. Paranoia, death, and betrayal await her at every turn as she fights for survival.
Published: Sept. 16, 2019
ISBN: 978-1089231769

Awk Words

A collection of awkward theatre and prose; five monologues, five plays [one eight act play; two one scene plays; two one act plays], ten poems. The collection is intended for mature audiences.
Published: Aug. 20, 2018
ISBN: 978-1724543295

Faux Vu

Regan Thatcher was a viral sensation with cool dances and perky positivity, but internet fame is fleeting as youth. Now, with bankruptcy looming, Regan works multiple jobs to maintain her lifestyle and is barely keeping the wolf from her door. She needs a viral hit, or a miracle, or maybe both! Husband in tow, she follows an anonymous letter back to her hometown, where a mysterious informant has promised a scandal unlike any other: strange incidents are occurring because of the satellite array there, events so bizarre, they must be seen to be believed. Could this be the viral hit she needs?
Published: Feb. 28, 2021
ISBN: 979-8713556891

Pinky Swear

A short play; 3 characters. 1 male, 1 female, 1 other.Play summary/excerpt:A boring lonely man who lives in a fortress of solitude. He constantly turns away the person who comes to try and take him out of it. A realistic tragicomedy outlining the ironic humour of the human condition; internal flaws be they real or imaginary push or pull us. Well, the situation would be tragic, if the main character wasn't such a unrelatable misanthrope. No good. Not funny, either honestly. Short realistic dialogue back and forth. Nothing happens for the first three quarters of the play either. All the action is in the subtext. Two swimmers, circling each other, and both not waving but drowning.
Published: Feb. 7, 2018
ISBN: 978-1981407347

The Flammarion Syncope

The Flammarion Syncope is an aesthetic hypnagogic exploration of stream of consciousness in the first person; scenes, characters, life, death, love, and pain all flow together to weave a confusing and mystifying work that baffles the will. The book is a cycle, a meditation on existence made manifest, some truth hidden amongst lies. The past and future intermingled among myriad alternate realities. This work, existing in all of them.
Published: Nov. 5, 2018
ISBN: 978-1726635332

The Puffin, the Penguin, and the Dodo

A collection of three plays, each more violent and depraved than the last.
Published: Sept. 30, 2018
ISBN: 978-1726385053
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