• Biography & Memoir
  • Fiction & Literature

J. Matthew Nespoli

J. Matthew Nespoli is a writer living in Seal Beach with his wife and two young sons. By day, he is a Physical Therapist and runs his own practice in Torrance, but the night time is when he shines. There have been reports, in Seal Beach, of a masked vigilante running around in his tightie-whities, fighting crime, protecting citizens, and keeping the neighborhood peaceful. For legal reasons, Matthew has declined comment on the rumor that this is him.

In addition to saving the lives of strangers and helping to physically repair  ...See more >

J. Matthew Nespoli welcomes queries regarding:
Agent Representation
Events & Signings
Film Rights
Foreign Publication
Media Coverage
U.S. Publication
Agent: Jay Ricafort (manager, not agent) [Blue Water]


"...this memoir could have been the male equivalent to What to Expect When You’re Expecting."

Kirkus Reviews


Joyous Publishing- Best Novel, 2010: Broken

Gig News, 2013

Seattle Post, 2013

All Access, 2010

Entertainment Today, 2010

Hometown Seal Beach, CA

Favorite author Toni Morrison, Chuck Palahniuk

Favorite book The Bluest Eye

Day job Physical Therapist


Pub Date:
ISBN: 978-1489533975
Page count: 208pp

A guy’s guide to all that’s gross, humorous and surprising about fatherhood, from the perspective of a first-time dad.

Nespoli (Broken, 2010) considers himself an average guy: impulsive, adventure-seeking, oversexed, distractible and occasionally oblivious—especially when it comes to his spouse, whom he affectionately refers to as “The Bride.” When she announces that she’s pregnant, Nespoli suddenly stares down fatherhood, a role he thinks most men aren’t ever ready for. He navigates The Bride’s raging hormones, watches their bank account dwindle as they purchase useless baby items, and eventually meets his newborn son, Keller, whom he thinks looks like a lizard. A clueless Nespoli can’t help but wonder where the parenting guides are for men like him. Here he presents that very book, cultivated from his own hilarious and horrific experiences, including sleepless nights, diarrhea volcanoes and, most notably, the frustration of competing with his son for his wife’s affection and, specifically, her breasts. It eventually leads him to nickname Keller “The Suck Monster.” The book is full of dark humor, with no qualms about being blunt and crass about sex, marriage and scatological matters. Yet the author’s absurdist knack for overstatement makes some of the most offensive jokes and juvenile gags forgivable and even endearing. Underneath the frivolity are a remarkable sincerity and the trustworthy, progressive voice of experience. He offers new dads legitimate tips and advice, as well as commiseration about mistakes, sacrifices and morbid thoughts. The author’s numerous digressions may divert readers’ attention from the book’s stronger moments; with a little more focus, this memoir could have been the male equivalent to What to Expect When You’re Expecting. However, there’s plenty of laughs and frank, honest advice here to frighten, inform and entertain the average guy embracing fatherhood.

An engaging, if occasionally uneven, memoir of being a new parent.


BROKEN (Unpublished)

Skye is a teenage homeless musician battling a drug addiction who dreams of unattainable rock stardom. She's befriended by Amber, a young mother on the run from two dangerous men from her past. The two girls form a mutually indispensable bond, one that could ultimately save them. Dylan is a pseudo-intellectual-Chuck Palahniuk wanna-be, and a total cynic. He lives with TJ, an out of work actor, who fails auditions by day, and wears a hamburger suit outside a burger joint at the mall by night. TJ and Dylan are artistic failures in need of a muse to kick start their careers. Broken follows several other interesting individuals (all based on real people), each with their own humorous twisted narrative as they try to put the pieces of their lives back together.
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