Kadish offers a collection of memoiristic stories and essays that explore a family dynamic complicated by infidelity, emotional abandonment, drug addiction, and grief.

Beginning with memories of riding and training horses and riding broncos in the Central California desert, the author launches into a personal story defined by loss, addiction, and complicated definitions of love. Kadish describes her marriage to a businessman whom she describes as unfaithful with an emotionally abusive sense of humor that resulted in a strained domestic situation. As years passed, the author writes, the couple attempted to redefine their relationship with polyamory, but their efforts were unsuccessful and ultimately resulted in divorce. Presented alongside her recollections of her marriage is a narrative about her identical twin boys, Micah and Seth; she portrays how they grew into creative, rebellious young men. Her motherly affection for them is evident throughout the book, as she tells of trying to save them fromfentanyl addiction, assist them in their mental health struggles, and steer them from poor decisions that can ruin lives: “After Seth had been in rehab for several months, and away from the drug, I asked if he could find happiness without it.” Told through Micah’s eyes, one section of the narrative beautifully and tragically portrays the toll drug addiction can take on a life, including the eventual overdose that caused Seth’s death. Kadish expertly weaves in references to philosophy and literature to make sense of the world in which she lives, creating a grand, multigenerational epic and a tribute to the loss of one son and the devastation of another. However, it sometimes feels as if her essays and the stories from Micah’s point of view compete for space in the narrative, making for a dense read, and the combination of stories and essays blurs the line between reality and fiction, which may confuse some readers. Still, Kadish’s skillful storytelling is immersive and captivating, making spending time with this book a worthwhile endeavor.

An ambitious, if sometimes-overwhelming, collection that remains engaging throughout.