Photo credit: California DMV

Nelson E. Donley

The best time of Nelson Donley's life took place on the BD&L – his grandfather's pony farm. He taught himself so much about equine medicine that he considered making a career out of it, but changed his mind when his veterinarian asked him, “Are you good in math?” But he loved horses so much that he eventually started his own business with American Quarter Horses. In high school, Mr. Donley majored in agriculture and used his AQHA horse business as his Future Farmers of America project.  ...See more >

Nelson E. Donley welcomes queries regarding:
Agent Representation
Events & Signings
Film Rights
Foreign Publication
Media Coverage
U.S. Publication


"While unapologetically gross, the book is ultimately motivational in its own peculiar way."

Kirkus Reviews


Hometown Whittier, CA

Favorite author Shakespeare

Favorite book Harpo Speaks!

Day job writer

Favorite line from a book "All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." Alexander Woollcott

Favorite word success

Unexpected skill or talent satire

Passion in life Being a successful author


Pub Date:
ISBN: 978-1-5304-3410-7
Page count: 108pp

Donley’s (Farmer Tice #2, 2017, etc.) collection of illustrated stories chronicles the mishaps of an ill-fated farmer named Tice.

Farmer Tice can’t seem to do anything right. He tried to see the movie Snow White and the Seven Farmers only to find himself wedged between two awful theater patrons. During a stint in the Army, he was nearly court-martialed for wearing a colonel’s uniform. Then there is the fact that nearly everyone he encounters seems to want to get money out of him. Take for example when Tice was caught fishing without a license and received a $100 fine for the error. Sadly, for all of the abuse the Job-like farmer receives, he doesn’t get much in return. His obese wife, Honeybunch, despises him (“You should have known better, you idiot!” she says when he is fined for grilling hot dogs on the beach although she packed the hibachi), and it is many a night that Farmer Tice has to sleep in the barn (where he should feel himself fortunate if some animal does not eat an article of his clothing). All told, Tice is a dimmer Wile E. Coyote if there ever was one, falling off cliff after cliff only to appear again for more torment. The fun of the book comes in seeing how high the next cliff will be and when exactly old Tice will stop falling. Albeit all those falls are not for the squeamish. The stories make frequent use of bathroom humor (as with a New Year’s Eve misadventure: “the result of guzzling prune juice—the backdoor trots!”), and the accompanying illustrations only help to clarify where all those bodily fluids wind up. On the positive end, nothing seems to keep Farmer Tice down for long. Despite all the barf, fines, and his own intolerable marriage, he still has fields to plow and a barn roof under which he can rest his weary head. Regardless of one’s station in life, one can learn a lot from a farmer who won’t let his consistently poor luck keep him down.

While unapologetically gross, the book is ultimately motivational in its own peculiar way.


Teen Humor, Hillbilly Humor, The Simpsons, Middle School Humor

The Farmer Tice stories in Book #2 are a bit more advanced, and a little more sophisticated, than those in the first book. That's because this hillbilly farmer somehow manages to get himself into bigger and more complicated messes; such as the time his wife forced him to get a part-time job. Such endeavors as that can only lead to a heap of trouble, and it did.

ISBN: 1544608160
View on Amazon