PRO CONNECT
Rebecca M. Painter spent her first eight years on a berry farm in Washington State, the daughter of Rachel Williams, an idealistic, poetry-loving New Zealander and an influential American Theosophist, Roger Painter. Her parents met when Rachel was on a trans-Pacific vacation to the Pacific Northwest in 1939, when the much older American convinced her to break her engagement to her New Zealand fiancé. Rebecca grew up around free-thinking nonconformists, but her father's accidental death and the subsequent loss of their barely sustainable farm threw the small family into trying circumstances. Rachel's second husband abandoned them, and her third was oddly aloof, perhaps triggered her bewildering accusation in Rebecca's early teens that Rebecca did not love her. Her mother delivered this demoralizing judgment in traumatizing monologues that seemed calculated to destroy her daughter's sense of self-worth. Thus began Rebecca's lifelong study of the nature of subtle forms of interpersonal evil. She survived her adolescent trauma by focusing on her studies and music practice (drums and piano), winning a scholarship to an elite private women's college and acceptance into Columbia University's doctoral program in English and comparative literature. Her academic career came to an abrupt halt during the Vietnam War, when Columbia lost federal support for fellowships in the liberal arts. Though forced to find work as a secretary, Rebecca spent ten fruitful years at the Rockefeller Foundation, where her scholarly background enabled her to take on professional assignments--writing major project descriptions for its board of trustees, screening grant proposals and advising promising applicants on effective proposals. She would use these skills as a development consultant, while completing her doctorate in comparative literature at New York University. After over 20 years teaching college courses in writing, literature, and interdisciplinary humanities on challenging themes such as women's views of evil, Dr. Painter decided to write her own contribution to that field: a memoir about her relationship with her mother. The result is [LOVE] RACHEL - A Daughter's Memoir of Love, Betrayal and Grace.
“...a family saga that bristles with intellectual rigor, fierce resolve, and deep spiritual compassion....”
– Kirkus Reviews
Literature and writing teacher Painter recounts the remarkable life of her mother while seeking to understand the roots of her own fraught relationship with her.
For much of her life, the author thought that her mother, Rachel, had lost her true love due to a telegram-related blunder during World War II, which precipitated a life of inevitable struggle and dissatisfaction. However, in this extensive debut memoir, Painter examines the past to find the truth about her enigmatic mother’s choices, regrets, and ideologies; along the way, she also shows how her mom broke her heart. The book ranges over a wide array of times and places, including Interwar New Zealand, a Washington commune-turned–berry farm in the 1950s; Columbia University in New York City in 1969; and beyond. At the core of her recollection is her mother’s stalwart belief that Painter does not love her, despite the latter’s professed devotion. The author also touches on the lives of her grandparents, family friends, siblings, and several stepfathers to flesh out a family saga that bristles with intellectual rigor, fierce resolve, and deep spiritual compassion, but is also weighted by accounts of emotional neglect, mental illness, and perceived isolation. The author does have a tendency to reiterate and rehash certain events with excessive detail. Overall, however, she shows commendable skill in intertwining her own experiences with her mother’s, winding through key moments in both their lives, and hinting at future revelations, which she later explores with nuance and emotional maturity. Although this isn’t the story of a well-known figure, it still has an epic feel as it dives into the complicated and messy ways that people can misunderstand each other. (Includes black-and-white family photos.)
A sweeping chronicle of two lives altered by love and loss.
Pub Date: Oct. 19, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-63338-822-2
Page count: 406pp
Publisher: Fulton Books
Review Posted Online: March 19, 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj2YwQ_98ZA&t=16s
Favorite author
Marilynne Robinson
Favorite book
Gilead
Favorite line from a book
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul
© Copyright 2026 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Hey there, book lover.
We’re glad you found a book that interests you!
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Trouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Trouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Don’t fret. We’ll find you.