HURRIED CHILD: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon

by David Elkind ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 15, 1981

Sooner is not better, says Tufts University psychologist Elkin--not for learning to read, not for lipstick, not for sex, not for hearing about parents' lovers; and he makes a strong case for rethinking today's childrearing and educational practices accordingly. But far more than simply documenting the horrors of ""growing up too fast too soon"" in the media, Elkind thoughtfully analyzes the dynamics of parental and educational ""hurrying."" Parents use their children as surrogates (treating toddlers as adults on the ski slopes), as status symbols (bragging about exclusive schools), as partners (asking children to decide with which parent they will spend holidays), as therapists (making a child a ""symbolic confidant"" who serves as a sympathetic listener without being of much practical use), and as consciences (pressing children for moral approbation of acts that violate community standards). The schools hurry children ""because administrators are under stress to produce better products."" And stress is both a cause and an effect of the ""hurrying"" phenomena--parents who are afraid, alone, and insecure may put their own needs ahead of those of their children, or treat their children as symbols; those children, in turn, exhibit free-floating anxiety, ""Type A behavior"" (competitiveness, impatience, aggression), school burnout, learned helplessness. Many of Elkind's observations are provocative, at the least: school sex education programs often reflect adult concerns about teenage sexuality more than the concerns of young people; children of two working parents are likely to be more ""hurried,"" and thus under more stress. All are firmly grounded in his own work with young people, however, and in psychological research and theory (there's an excellent chapter summarizing child and adolescent psychology for the layman). The suggestions for change follow logically: respect children's own timetables and needs, encourage play and fantasy, make sure that expectations and support are in reasonable balance, and be polite--which ""may do as much for improving parent-child relations as many of the more elaborate parental strategies!"" An authoritative call to allow children time to be children.

Pub Date: Jan. 15, 1981

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Addison-Wesley

Review Posted Online: N/A

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1981

Categories: NONFICTION