THE STORK

by Denison Hatch ‧ RELEASE DATE: April 4, 1977

Tim Smith is called ""The Stork"" because of his leggy, bony, storky mien, but the nickname takes on new meaning when Tim leaves his father's cattle stud-farm empire and applies his unrivaled breeding know-how to humans: a computerized sperm bank for the best in artificial insemination. Unfortunately, even with the prestige of his reluctant partner's name (Bink Roosevelt, supposedly an FDR grandson) and the expertise and dollars of Dr. Resnikow (Central Park South's top gynecologist), Tim's operation is a flop. So, to stimulate business, Tim and Bink and Doc resolve to fill their ""creamatorium"" with a ""Who's Who of American sperm""--an easy proposition once Tim meets Tony Wilde (as in Oscar), top honcho at S.A.D.D.O.G. S.A.D.D.O.G.? Sons and Daughters Descended of the Great. Soon all those ne'er-do-well scions are hooked up to the ACCU-JAC machine--encouraged by screenings of Marilyn Chambers and Linda Lovelace--and Tim's menu promises everything from a third-generation Hemingway ($37,000) to a sixteenth-generation Hans Holbein the Elder ($12,000). Business booms, but Bink's ethics, a muckraking reporter (""This story's going to do for me what Watergate did for Woodward and Bernstein!""), hints of forged genealogies, and one slight error (a Southern senator's wife gets an Adam Clayton Powell instead of a John Welsey Powell) precipitate a sticky Day of Judgment. When he isn't regressing from the sophomoric to the freshmantic (""seed money,"" ""notary pubic,"" ""El Seed""), Hatch unreels this fantasia with approximately the right mix of slapstick, word-play, and documentary mock-seriousness. He also decorates the doings with so many irreverent au-courancies that The Stork is already dated (Clay Felker plays an important role as New York Magazine editor), so this is not one for the ages, or even next year, but, for the moment and for those uninterested in real people doing vaguely real things, The Stork makes a lively enough delivery.

Pub Date: April 4, 1977

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Morrow

Review Posted Online: N/A

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 1977

Categories: FICTION