Lewd Noogie, hapless father (so he and the world think) of the earth's first set of novuplets, has the misfortune to accidentally smash his head on their incubator, thereby killing the nine babies and incurring the wrath of the nation to such an extent that his electrocution preempts the proverbial Times Square falling ball to ""bum in"" the New Year on Art Pastel's TV show. Both celebrity and zapping cons are the delight of Warden Tully Keyster, whose wife just happens to turn out to be Art's long lost mother, as well as the presumably mythological lady Lewd picked up at an abandoned subway station his first day as a conductor on New York's noisiest, all of which coincidences (plus many more) turn up in the course of the most hilariously destructive New Year's Eve in this or any other nation's history. Rauncheries of every sort from incest to faggotry to orgies to priest-fucking abound in this novel written in the most ebullient bad taste, plus the recipe for the world's first hangover-less cocktail: everything but aqua vita, known to you folks as alcohol. If the sex don't get ya then the death jokes will.