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TACTICAL BOUNDARIES

HOW TO MAKE ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WORK FOR YOU

A well-thought-out and insightful behavioral guide.

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A therapist offers a self-help book that explores strategies for setting boundaries in difficult situations.

For many people, establishing personal boundaries can be a challenge, particularly when they’re afraid of negative reactions from others. Del Giudice, a licensed marriage and family therapist, suggests a variety of ways to do so, with an aim to help people stand up for themselves and make their relationships work better. He argues that many values were taught in childhood, when many learn that establishing boundaries can “protect us from being used, abused, or neglected by others.” Each chapter includes stories from the author’s patients (with names and other details changed) to illustrate relevant points and demonstrate solutions to common problems. Readers are encouraged to face fears, communicate more effectively with partners and family members, and pursue financial independence to establish one’s personal freedom. Helpful chapters on dealing with narcissists offer significant insight into why people become self-centered, how they behave toward others, and how readers can deal with this behavior. Each chapter ends with questions to consider so that readers can apply new strategies to their own lives and relationships. Del Giudice’s self-help advice is backed up by years of practical experience, and he offers wisdom on why people struggle with self-worth. What constitutes effective boundaries may be different for each person, so the author offers plenty of specifics geared toward individual circumstances. The sections on overcoming one’s fear of rejection when being assertive and on dealing with difficult bosses should be helpful to many, as will the book’s emphasis on fostering good communication in marriages.

A well-thought-out and insightful behavioral guide.

Pub Date: Sept. 23, 2021

ISBN: 9781543499711

Page Count: 146

Publisher: Xlibris US

Review Posted Online: Feb. 22, 2023

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GREENLIGHTS

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

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All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.

“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020

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THINKING, FAST AND SLOW

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...

A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.

The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.

Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011

ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1

Page Count: 512

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011

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