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LEARNING TO SIT IN THE SILENCE

A JOURNAL OF CARETAKING

A curious compendium of self-oriented reflections on the four years Starkman helped care for her mother-in-law. The author gives herself and her mother-in-law new names- -Claire and Hilda Brenner—in the text, although what are presumably their real names, Elaine and Blanche Starkman, are revealed in the byline and dedication. In any case, this journal- -which the publisher calls ``fictionalized''—appears to be based on the real experience of a mother of four adolescent and college- age children, a sometime college teacher and writer who agrees to let her mother-in-law move in with the family. The arrangement lasts a year before ``Ma'' is put in a nursing home, where she spends three years declining until she finally dies. Starkman is strikingly honest about her feelings during this period: resentful of her husband's concern for, and time spent with, his mother; eager to pursue her own career but guilty about making it a priority; angry at her husband's sister and brother for not offering to take Ma in even for a little while. Once Ma is in the nursing home, the author's visits grow less frequent, though her husband continues to go every day. Fears of her own aging triggered by this deteriorating woman; discomfort and irritation at Ma's long silences and unpredictable outbursts; confusion, sympathy, and distaste as Ma's faculties erode—all are part of the mÇlange of feelings that many will recognize. But except for a half-dozen evocative poems, most of Starkman's confession comes across as self-pitying—and we deserve to know more about the colorful Ma, the remarkably loving son, and the business and politics of aging, if only in this particular family. Starkman's self-focus diminishes the struggles of thousands of other families trying to reconcile responsibilities to aging parents and growing children without strangling the creativity of the middle years.

Pub Date: Oct. 25, 1993

ISBN: 0-918949-44-0

Page Count: 128

Publisher: N/A

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 1993

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A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES

For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.

Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979

ISBN: 0061965588

Page Count: 772

Publisher: Harper & Row

Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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