A sensible, informative effort to help parents cope with the loss of a child be it through death, miscarriage, custody assignment, kidnapping, running away or even departure for college or career. Special attention is given to the often unexpected emotional aftereffects of such conscious decisions as placing a child up for adoption or having an abortion. A clinical psychologist, Toder was motivated to write this book because she had lost two children, one through a miscarriage, the other in a custody battle. She draws not only on this experience and professional expertise but also on numerous case histories of others. Her message, of course, is to realize that such symptoms as grief, anger, depression or even physical illness are not abnormal and to be understanding of yourself. Toder is particularly good at describing self-analysis techniques and mental exercises designed to short-circuit persistent ""negative"" emotions and thought patterns. A solid self-help book that provides much more than the usual pablum.