LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions

by Jed Diamond ‧ RELEASE DATE: Aug. 18, 1988

A multifaceted examination of ""romantic and sexual addictions,"" their causes, symptomatology, progressive stages--plus a program for overcoming a love dependency. According to psychotherapist Diamond, a destructive obsession with sex and romance is frequently rooted in a childhood deprived of safety and security, later reinforced by a pervasive pop culture that tells us ""All We Need is Love."" The compulsive sexual adventurer and the obsessed partner who, fearing abandonment, controls every move of the lover or spouse are acting out a deep-rooted distrust of commitment or fastening onto another person to gain the stability denied in formative years. In some unions, a co-addict enhances the partner's dependency by submitting to manipulation or by ignoring promiscuity. Diamond's 12-step cure is somewhat woolly: one must face the fact of the addiction and its destructive effects, ferret out its causes, and get help--preferably from one's inner self plus a therapist and a sponsor from one of the ""12-step programs"" (presumably a sex-addiction self-help group of AA and its ilk). The curative process is completed when one finds ""a new level of love and commitment""--but not with anyone who exhibits danger signs (Diamond lists them) of a potential co-addict. More intelligent and sophisticated than many relationship-addiction books, this work covers considerable ground in fewer than 200 pages. Diamond's attempts to grapple with the ambiguities and contradictions of rapidly changing sexual and cultural values sometimes make for heavy slogging--but for many, the effort will be worthwhile.

Pub Date: Aug. 18, 1988

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Putnam

Review Posted Online: N/A

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1988

Categories: NONFICTION