A self-help work that may be a good first step for a motivated reader.
A veteran cognitive behavioral therapist and clinical psychologist shares what she knows to help readers achieve satisfaction beyond reaching for the sometimes-elusive emotion of happiness.
“Shouldn’t I be happy?” is a question many ask, but Guttman asserts that one’s goal should be something deeper and more lasting, which she calls “sustainable life satisfaction.” The author’s objective is to share techniques that can make a difference for a reader, even without the benefit of therapy sessions. Guttman’s program is based on the “six core techniques of sustainable life satisfaction”: Avoid assumptions, reduce people-pleasing behaviors, face your fears, make decisions, acknowledge that starting is easy but closing is hard, and self-reinforce by rewarding yourself. Each strategy is fully fleshed out and illuminated by accounts of the author’s work with clients, quotes from experts in her field of cognitive behavioral therapy, and cited data. It’s easy to believe that a reader could get closer to living a life of satisfaction by absorbing these techniques and putting them to use. However, there’s also a strong sense that more progress could be made with the help of a live therapist; for instance, the core principle of not making assumptions is difficult to absorb without a guide, and what one assumes to be true about other people’s moods or motivations isn’t easily set aside, as it’s based on a lifetime of experiences. The most challenging habit to break may be people-pleasing, but it’s well worth the effort to try. In all these cases, input from a dispassionate and skilled counselor could be illuminating. Still, some of the techniques here are very easy to grasp and implement, such as avoiding “negative forecasting” (“expecting that undesirable things will happen”), and it’s always useful to reward oneself for achievements and give oneself good self-care.
A self-help work that may be a good first step for a motivated reader.Pub Date: May 30, 2023
ISBN: 9781637587942
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Review Posted Online: June 29, 2023
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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