A scathing critique on a foreign adoption system and the harrowing account of one woman’s attempt to fight it.
Debut memoir about trying to adopt a Guatemalan child amid the adversity of a corrupt system.
“I've never given birth,” writes O’Dwyer, “but I know the exact moment when I became a mother: 10:00A.M., September 6, 2002”—the moment she and her husband sat in a hotel lobby, awaiting the infant girl they hoped to adopt. Yet this celebratory moment was soon overshadowed by the corrupt Guatemalan adoption system. The author recounts her initial naiveté, how she and her husband shelled out vast amounts of money to adoption facilitators and notarios in order to assist them in wading through the red tape of a foreign adoption. Yet nearly two years and thousands of dollars later, O'Dwyer and her husband remained no closer to their goal. Rather than continue her transcontinental flights, the author quit her job and moved to Antigua to focus on her daughter's adoption full time. This decision led her into the dark side of adoption, a seedy terrain in which she was forced to weave through the barbs of a system set up to exploit the most money and resources from potential parents. Armed only with her elementary-level Spanish, she was forced to rely on a small band of trustworthy Guatemalan officials and potential American mothers struggling through the same experience. Her obsessive quest was constantly hampered by paperwork, signatures, DNA tests and countless other bureaucratic pitfalls. But despite the tragic circumstances, the optimistic author tells a hopeful tale in which she viewed every procedural misstep as a step leading her closer to her daughter.
A scathing critique on a foreign adoption system and the harrowing account of one woman’s attempt to fight it.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2010
ISBN: 978-1-58005-334-1
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Seal Press
Review Posted Online: July 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2010
BOOK REVIEW
A valuable frontline story of interest to anyone considering intended parenthood.
A soul-baring story of the emotional aspects of being an intended parent in a surrogate pregnancy.
Fibroids, and the surgery to remove them, left Rapley infertile, with a scarred uterus and fallopian tubes. Things looked grim, writes Rapley in unadorned prose that gives her circumstance a particularly vulnerable quality, until her brother’s wife, Victoria, volunteers to be the “oven” for Rapley’s fertilized eggs. While Rapley acknowledges that a surrogate pregnancy is difficult for everyone involved, she discovers that while there are plenty of stories told from the surrogate’s perspective, there is little information on what it is like to spend nine months as an intended parent. Understandably, Rapley is flooded with concern: Since she can’t actually feel the growth of her boys within her, she experiences an overwhelming desire to be by Victoria’s side each day. To her abiding credit, she gives Victoria room to breathe (and to vomit for weeks on end as she suffers pre-term labor). Despite the distance that separates the two women–Rapley lives in New Jersey and Victoria lives in California–Rapley flies back and forth for doctor’s visits and tests that seem designed to scare her to death. Each week she details the whirlwind of emotions she feels and the difficulty of not being with the fetuses. Rapley might well have been pregnant herself; her roller coaster emotions are not unlike those triggered by the hormonal imbalance of pregnancy. What a pleasure it is, then, when she is presented with her twin boys. Now she can really start worrying.
A valuable frontline story of interest to anyone considering intended parenthood.Pub Date: July 22, 2005
ISBN: 0-595-35528-5
Page Count: -
Publisher: N/A
Review Posted Online: May 23, 2010
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Certainly not revolutionary, but Alexandre’s light, practical tips and upbeat attitude show that she’s on your side, even if...
Advice for determining whether a love interest is worth the time, and tips on how to mold your current partner into a decent person.
Alexandre’s conception of a gentleman is “not defined by some old school notions like age or occupation or a code of dress” or “some archaic definitions of class.” She emphasizes the importance of ignoring society’s version of the ideal man–tall, handsome, wealthy–and instead, seeking a passionate person (not to be confused with an arrogant loudmouth) who can appreciate life’s little pleasures. The ability to value life and hold nature in high regard are also important qualities, says Alexandre. She offers definitions of “gentleman” throughout history, providing examples of model men such as Jesus, Jimmy Carter and naturalist Galen Rowell. Her friendly tone lends the text a feeling of gentle familiarity, as if a close friend were offering advice, though her more political musings may not connect with some readers–after quoting from the legend of King Arthur, she says, “It sounds to me like Arthur would be disappointed in the current rules of war. Remember Shock and Awe?” Nevertheless, Alexandre is a helpful cheerleader, encouraging readers to be proactive on dates by asking lots of questions. When entangled in an uncomfortable situation at home, use external examples of admirable behavior as guidance–though her own model may be somewhat dubious: “If your man is rude, you may say how you admire James Bond…because he is always so tactful and kind, even before killing his enemy.” She also includes a questionnaire for men and suggestions for raising a gentlemanly son.
Certainly not revolutionary, but Alexandre’s light, practical tips and upbeat attitude show that she’s on your side, even if you may not agree with everything she says.Pub Date: Feb. 2, 2006
ISBN: 0-9776687-0-3
Page Count: -
Publisher: N/A
Review Posted Online: May 23, 2010
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
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