Not easy reading, but an informative primer for those contemplating foster parenting.
A report from the trenches about what it’s like to be a foster parent.
Thirteen years ago, with three boys of their own at home, Kathy and Bruce Harrison decided to adopt two little girls Kathy encountered while working in a Head Start program. Part of the adoption process entailed foster-parenting training and certification; soon, Social Services began calling, begging the Harrisons to take in foster children for short-term placements. Some hundred children later, Kathy writes about her family’s journey. Miguel, a ten-month-old infant, needed an overnight placement after his teenage parents nearly beat him to death. One-year-old Shamika had been severely burned by her mother. The Harrisons also have their share of long-term foster kids, whose stories are even bleaker. Six-year-old Danny had been beaten and sexually abused his entire young life. As a result, he was dangerous, unpredictable, and resisted toilet training. Worst of all, he was a budding pedophile and could never be left alone with younger children; for this reason he was eventually removed from the Harrisons’ household and subsequent placements. Sara, another six-year-old, had the same grim past, and although she seemed more salvageable than Danny, that hope proved illusory; by the end, Sara is in a secure psychiatric facility, perhaps never to be released. There are some success stories, however. A sweet girl named Lucy who enjoyed birding went on to be adopted by a loving family after a stint with the Harrisons, who themselves adopted a third daughter, Karen, despite her host of medical problems. Kathy and Bruce lavished attention on these damaged and rejected children; they clothed, fed, and ferried the kids to sporting events, therapy, meetings with birth parents, and court, all for $15.00 per day. The Harrisons aren’t perfect—the author recounts her relief when Danny is finally removed from their care—but they certainly provide a desperately needed service.
Not easy reading, but an informative primer for those contemplating foster parenting.Pub Date: April 14, 2003
ISBN: 1-58542-200-2
Page Count: 240
Publisher: TarcherPerigee
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2003
BOOK REVIEW
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.
A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.
“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0
Page Count: 200
Publisher: Yale Univ.
Review Posted Online: Nov. 24, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.
Lessons about life from those preparing to die.
A longtime hospice chaplain, Egan (Fumbling: A Pilgrimage Tale of Love, Grief, and Spiritual Renewal on the Camino de Santiago, 2004) shares what she has learned through the stories of those nearing death. She notices that for every life, there are shared stories of heartbreak, pain, guilt, fear, and regret. “Every one of us will go through things that destroy our inner compass and pull meaning out from under us,” she writes. “Everyone who does not die young will go through some sort of spiritual crisis.” The author is also straightforward in noting that through her experiences with the brokenness of others, and in trying to assist in that brokenness, she has found healing for herself. Several years ago, during a C-section, Egan suffered a bad reaction to the anesthesia, leading to months of psychotic disorders and years of recovery. The experience left her with tremendous emotional pain and latent feelings of shame, regret, and anger. However, with each patient she helped, the author found herself better understanding her own past. Despite her role as a chaplain, Egan notes that she rarely discussed God or religious subjects with her patients. Mainly, when people could talk at all, they discussed their families, “because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives.” It is through families, Egan began to realize, that “we find meaning, and this is where our purpose becomes clear.” The author’s anecdotes are often thought-provoking combinations of sublime humor and tragic pathos. She is not afraid to point out times where she made mistakes, even downright failures, in the course of her work. However, the nature of her work means “living in the gray,” where right and wrong answers are often hard to identify.
A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.Pub Date: Oct. 25, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-59463-481-9
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Riverhead
Review Posted Online: Aug. 2, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2016
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