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Stepmother

A MEMOIR

A beautiful examination of a family and the sometimes-fragile ligatures that bind its members.

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A debut memoir offers a poignant meditation on the joys and challenges of being a stepmother.

When Lile met her future husband, she was a lobbyist for a nurses’ association and he was the state representative from the 39th district of Snohomish County in Washington. Their romance started haltingly, but once Lile finally agreed to go out with Art, it quickly blossomed into something of real substance. There were hurdles, however: Art was still married to his wife, Vicki, though the two were separated, and he had two children from that relationship. Still, Lile and Art pressed on and decided to wed, though Vicki, sometimes resentfully, made the divorce proceedings arduous. Those inconveniences portended the kinds of problems Lile would recurrently encounter, the ineluctable pitfalls attached to the “blended family.” She moved into a house Art built with his ex-wife. Because Lile was unemployed, she was immediately thrust into the daily duties of stepmotherhood, shepherding Art’s kids—now hers too—about town in her car. The author experienced a short grace period characterized by polite awkwardness, but that eventually gave way to emotional conflict and an identity crisis. It was not immediately clear what role she played on Christmas or if she should be recognized on Mother’s Day. A community unfamiliar with Lile all but shunned her; Vicki could be territorial and curt. Lile and Art eventually had a child of their own, further complicating the household dynamic. And when Art’s two kids from his first marriage reached adolescence, their natural rebelliousness further challenged Lile’s goal of domestic harmony. The author sensitively and candidly discusses emotionally wrenching topics with a lighthearted touch. She quickly discovered that being a stepmother was both a dauntingly difficult and unsung role: “There is no ceremony for stepparents. No stepmom shower. No waiting for the official papers as you would for an adoption. No party balloons.” It’s impressive how generous she is recounting her struggles—she never surrenders herself to bitter recrimination or uses her remembrance to settle old scores. And Lile is refreshingly self-critical, openhandedly anatomizing her own foibles. This is a genuine love story that thoughtfully considers all the ways real-world obstacles conspire against a simple romance.

A beautiful examination of a family and the sometimes-fragile ligatures that bind its members.

Pub Date: Sept. 27, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-63152-089-1

Page Count: 240

Publisher: She Writes Press

Review Posted Online: Sept. 7, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2016

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NIGHT

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the...

Elie Wiesel spent his early years in a small Transylvanian town as one of four children. 

He was the only one of the family to survive what Francois Maurois, in his introduction, calls the "human holocaust" of the persecution of the Jews, which began with the restrictions, the singularization of the yellow star, the enclosure within the ghetto, and went on to the mass deportations to the ovens of Auschwitz and Buchenwald. There are unforgettable and horrifying scenes here in this spare and sombre memoir of this experience of the hanging of a child, of his first farewell with his father who leaves him an inheritance of a knife and a spoon, and of his last goodbye at Buchenwald his father's corpse is already cold let alone the long months of survival under unconscionable conditions. 

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the sphere of suffering shared, and in this case extended to the death march itself, there is no spiritual or emotional legacy here to offset any reader reluctance.

Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2006

ISBN: 0374500010

Page Count: 120

Publisher: Hill & Wang

Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2006

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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