An earnest plea to think about love mindfully.
Dating undermines authenticity, the author claims.
In her debut book, Weigel examines the history and current practices of dating in hopes of making sense of her own feelings of discomfort and oppression. After years of dating, she felt that she “was trying to make a life according to rules I did not understand and that the process had blinded me to my desires.” Dating made her feel as if she were “impersonating all the women I thought I should be.” She had lost her sense of self. Her investigation led her to self-help books, movies, TV shows, popular songs, histories of courtship and marriage, and interviews with daters, experts, and scholars, all of which provide evidence for her breezy, digressive overview focusing mostly on the experiences of white, middle-class, heterosexual women. Weigel finds that the word “date” first appeared in print in 1896, used by a working-class man to refer to his courtship. At the turn of the century, middle-class men called on women in their homes, following strict rules of etiquette, but working-class couples went out to restaurants, dance halls, and amusement parks. In both cases, though, women were supposed to be the passive recipients of men’s desires. Shopgirls learned how to style themselves by observing their well-heeled clients; “Charity Girls” aspired to be treated to gifts and meals. Both types worked hard to market themselves as dating prospects, efforts that Weigel sees continuing into the present, with diets, makeup, clothing, gym memberships, personal trainers, and fine-tuned profiles on dating websites. “In order to appeal to prospective lovers,” the author writes, “you must not only know where to look,” but also “brand yourself so that you will be searchable by the right people.” Weigel’s angst and disillusionment ended with finding love that enriched, rather than eroded, her sense of identity.
An earnest plea to think about love mindfully.Pub Date: May 17, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-374-18253-3
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: March 7, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 2016
BOOK REVIEW
For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.
Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979
ISBN: 0061965588
Page Count: 772
Publisher: Harper & Row
Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...
A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.
Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6
Page Count: 248
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015
PERSPECTIVES
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