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THE SECRET LOVE OF SONS

HOW WE MEN FEEL ABOUT OUR MOTHERS, AND WHY WE NEVER TELL

Based on over 200 interviews, almost all with men, this debut book is an embarrassingly superficial account of the mother-son bond. Weinstock, a New Yorkbased journalist, writes as if the mother-son relationship takes place in a kind of emotional cocoon; there is precious little here about fathers, siblings, other relatives, and friends. In fact, there is very little here about mothers' perspectives, which Weinstock promises to provide. Apparently, how sons love their mothers isn't affected by how they are loved by them. His writing on the idyllic ``secret garden'' where mothers supposedly bestow unconditional warmth and support on their infant and young boys is romanticized to the point of being maudlin: ``Beginning with our birth, a mother's love bathed us unconditionally.'' What, one wonders, of mothers who experienced post-partum depression or were distracted by professional obligations, their spouses, other siblings? Weinstock offers a simplistic tripartite developmental schema, in which, first, mothers protectively envelop their sons, then adolescent sons necessarily distance themselves, and finally mature adult sons come to ``mother'' their mothers, supposedly helping them strengthen their psychological resources and broaden their perspectives—a downright patronizing attitude. But rather than really probe the mother-son bond, Weinstock largely celebrates it, so that the relationship seems to know little of conflict or ambivalence. Finally, in his preoccupation with what mothers and sons reveal to each other, Weinstock reflects one of the more significant problems of American popular culture: the idolatry of talk, as if self- revelation and verbal emotional support were sufficient for ``love''; as if sons, particularly those of aging and widowed or divorced mothers, didn't also have some definite responsibilities toward them. Weinstock writes in the authoritative first-person plural, as if he knew a great deal about the multifaceted, impossible-to- schematize dynamics of mothers and sons. His book reveals that he has much more to learn.

Pub Date: April 14, 1997

ISBN: 1-57322-050-7

Page Count: 224

Publisher: Riverhead

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 1997

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A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES

For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.

Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979

ISBN: 0061965588

Page Count: 772

Publisher: Harper & Row

Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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