A child psychologist who tried house-husbanding for a year, Graubard has developed the same three-step solution for every problem from biting during breast-feeding to toilet-training, tics, and teenage intractability. His surefire system: identify, intervene, evaluate. In other words, isolate the vexatious behavior, reinforce desired behavior (lots of goodies and trips), and watch the quick results. ""When you eat your meat and vegetables, then you may have your ice cream."" Hardly revolutionary advice. But human behavior is--happily--more complex and unpredictable than Graubard allows: taking a swing at little brother, even if it means forfeiting TV privileges, has its residual benefits, a fact he overlooks, and deep-seated conflicts won't be resolved by record-keeping or pats on the back. Although behavior modification can be used successfully in many situations (table manners, housecleaning), others such as nightmares and school anxiety require more sustained, thoughtful intervention. Expecting a ten-year-old to approach a sarcastic teacher and ask for better treatment is demanding more than most can handle; a parent who'll modify his own schedule and approach the teacher himself won't compromise a child's developing independence. Over-simplified.