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NOT GOOD ENOUGH

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CORE BELIEF AND ANXIETY
 | A HANDBOOK

An inspiring and practical self-awareness and self-empowerment workbook.

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Trobak discusses ways to challenge unhealthy core beliefs to become a stronger, more confident person in this mental health guide.

“People’s core belief ‘not good enough, not important, not valued’ plays a massive role in everything they do,” notes the author, whose counseling practice uses a model of therapy intended to help clients “move toward a healthy core belief and find healing.” In this book, she leads readers through “engaging activities” organized around the “four pillars of positive change: awareness, understanding, resolve, and healing.” These activities include exercises to examine “your own life experiences, thoughts, and perceptions” to uncover your core belief, which, Trobak asserts, develops in childhood and is often “fractured” due to shortfalls in meeting Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Other exercises are used to determine the “intensity” level of your deficiency in each part of the “good enough, important, valued” trio and to then “change and resolve those emotions you’ve avoided or suppressed.” The author states that anxiety and anger both result from the emotional avoidance and suppression engendered by an unhealthy core belief. Finally, the book covers “maintaining these changes long term” via “coping strategies.” Here, too, discernment is key, as these methods can be healthy or unhealthy depending on their use (yoga can be a positive mind-body-emotions-spirit experience or an anxiety-anger stressor if turned into a comparison-based competition). Trobak’s self-examination primer is powerful and challenging; she recognizes the impact that parents have in developing one’s unhealthy core belief but doesn’t focus on blame, noting that this damage results from the parents having unhealthy core beliefs themselves. The author’s easy-to-follow exercises are designed to aid in building one’s own awareness and accountability to change unhealthy behaviors and achieve self-actualization (Maslow’s top level). Otherwise, as Trobak warns early on, “you will be drawn to people, events, situations, scenarios, and so on that support and reinforce your [unhealthy] core belief.”

An inspiring and practical self-awareness and self-empowerment workbook.

Pub Date: N/A

ISBN: 9781039165328

Page Count: 204

Publisher: FriesenPress

Review Posted Online: May 17, 2023

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THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 30, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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