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CONNECTING

THE ENDURING POWER OF FEMALE FRIENDSHIP

Shallow treatment of a serious subject, with lots of padding to fool the eye.

A superficial look at the changing nature of friendships among girls and women at various stages of life.

Journalist Sheehy (Town & Country, Women, Money, etc.) interviewed psychologists, sociologists, and some 200 women across the US (most of them middle-class, college-educated, and white) to construct the picture of female friendship that she presents here. After briefly examining how women’s friendships have changed since the advent of modern feminism (and how they differ generally from men’s), she takes a closer look at how women form friendships and finds seven identifiable stages to the process: attraction, initiation, structuring, comfort, strengthening, testing, and commitment. She also finds that friends can be grouped into ten basic categories, some examples of which are soulmates, lifemates, companions in crisis, complementary opposites, and mentors and protégées. Each grouping is described with extensive quotes from her interviewees. The same technique of using the voices of individual women to illustrate her conclusions is followed in subsequent chapters, which consider friendships of girls, teenagers, college-age women, women in their 20s and 30s, women from 40 to 64, and finally women over 65. Not surprisingly, she finds that diverging life patterns—marriage, parenthood, divorce, job and financial status—test the friendship bond, and that the support of other women can be tremendously helpful to women facing widowhood. Having established that friendships are important to women, and that not all women are adept at forming them, Sheehy offers a final list—17 steps for having friends for life. Her advice here takes the form of such reminders as: stay in touch, learn how to listen and when to remain silent, and give gifts from the heart. To authenticate her findings, the author has included a copy of the interview questions and a tally of the results to specific questions.

Shallow treatment of a serious subject, with lots of padding to fool the eye.

Pub Date: Aug. 1, 2000

ISBN: 0-380-97430-4

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Morrow/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2000

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A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES

For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.

Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979

ISBN: 0061965588

Page Count: 772

Publisher: Harper & Row

Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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