A thorough, all-purpose guide to managing relationships—how to create good ones, avoid bad ones, and escape from harmful...
A manual explores the complications of interpersonal relationships.
Boe (Letters to Kegan, 2006) wrote his new book as a handy guide to relationships to both share lessons he’s learned from a career in consulting and to head off potential problems with a prevention strategy. “Preventing harm and avoiding bad relationships,” he writes, “is better than figuring out how to respond after someone has already been violated and hurt.” Consequently, his manual spends a good deal of time elaborating on the warning signs and trouble indicators and touching on a wide variety of interpersonal aspects, from love to infatuation to mutual respect and support to questions of abuse and trust. Throughout these quick, information-rich chapters, the author is consistently assuring his readers that their own instincts are powerful tools in any uncertain situation. “If you ever feel like your partner (or a person you just met) is more focused on their own desires than they are on you and your mutual enjoyment and comfort, it is important to take that impression seriously,” he writes. “You are probably right.” Each of Boe’s chapters lays out simple, often common-sense observations that are generally sensitive and supportive (although the author can be extremely direct when the subject warrants it, writing, for example: “You are not obligated to make accommodations for a person who has mistreated you”). His primary focus seems to be on helping people in all kinds of relationships protect themselves from heartbreak and trust themselves in reaching out, with specific applications ranging from social media to marriage to a refreshingly blunt section introducing readers to the concept of tact. The author’s insights are broad enough to be of interest to all age groups, but it’s fairly obvious that young people, particularly young men, will benefit the most from the straightforward wisdom presented in these pages.
A thorough, all-purpose guide to managing relationships—how to create good ones, avoid bad ones, and escape from harmful ones.Pub Date: Feb. 9, 2018
ISBN: 978-1-985268-94-4
Page Count: 196
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: June 7, 2018
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
© Copyright 2026 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Follow
Popular in this Genre
We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!
It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!
Already have an account? Log in.
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
Welcome Back!
OR
Sign in with GoogleTrouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.
